“Have you watched?” she asked.
“I don’t need to.”
Plus, I didn’t want to confirm every scary and wonderful feeling I’d had that night was all over my face and his. I would rather keep things as they currently were, neatly organized on a shelf labeleddenial.
“I can show you.”
“It’s okay.”
“So you and Harrison …”
“Brooks. Not the place to talk about it.” I glanced around to make sure nobody else was around as I arranged candles onto the cake.
“The man is gaga over you. I totally called that. You two have old souls.”
I laughed to myself. I couldn’t deny that Harrison wore his heart on his sleeve, but he also lost his shirt a lot. I hadn’t told her about our sex-a-thon. I could still smell him on me from the quickie earlier as we put extra towels in the pool house. “Put extra towels in the pool house” will forever be a euphemism to me.
“I think it’s nice. You’re happy. I don’t understand why you’re fighting all this so hard,” she said sadly.
“I’m not this person,” I said too fast, like something in me snapped. Why was it on me to make sure that nobody got hurt? Why was I the one who had to make the hard choices and do the hard things? It was like all the boiling up tension and sadness in me spewed up and out. I glanced to the door, making sure nobody was around. “I just spent this past week moping around. I felt like one of those women standing on the cliff looking out at sea waiting for her soldier to come home.”
“Why is it bad that you missed him?” she asked patiently, not rising to meet the bait of my outburst.
Because I have grown to rely on him too much. Because the house felt cold and empty and quiet. Because I missed his stupid comfort as much as I missed our physical bond. I missed having a partner.
“This isn’t a real life, Brooks.”
“Not if you never give it a chance.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk about this right now. They’re waiting for the cake.”
She couldn’t understand. She didn’t have the facts. From her point of view, I was just a woman with a perfect life to slip into, and all problems would magically be solved.
“Harrison and I aren’t anything. He starts filming next month. He’ll probably stop coming up here since I won’t need him to help with Collette. My work here will be done, and I won’t have an excuse to live here.”
“It’s not like George will kick you out. Grandpop George loves and welcomes all.”
“I don’t want to take advantage of him.”
“I’m just saying there is no rush.” Brooks looked at me flatly.
“This has a deadline. This has an end. I wish he wouldn’t act like we were some sort of family. It’s just messing with Collette.”
“That’s not his intention, and you know it.” She crossed her arms and glared at me, her cool demeanor finally slipping.
“I know.” I pressed a thumb to the growing headache in my temple. I couldn’t help the panic, and it made my brain freak out. But she was right. Harrison wasn’t trying to hurt anybody. I smoothed my palms on my dress. “No. I know. Harrison wouldn’t ever intentionally hurt anyone. But I also don’t think he gets it. He doesn’t always think things through. He’s all passion and impulse. This was a fun way to fill in the time before filming. He is going back to his life. We both talked about that. That’s always been the plan.”
“Plans change.”
“Not this one.”
