I got lost in the story. The final chapters of the final book flowed out of me as though George stood there dictating them. Tears blurred my eyes as I wrote the final words.
Then, I immediately went back to the beginning to read through everything I had written. Over a hundred thousand words, all sucking me deeper into the world ofTerraformative.
I woke with a start, my neck stiff from falling asleep on the old couch. Though the house was as quiet as ever, an instinct told me something was very wrong. Head still spinning from being sound asleep, I fumbled forward off the couch and to the door.
Outside, Joey’s car was missing. I hadn’t caught her in time.
I swore under my breath, but that little voice ringing loudly in my head didn’t stop, it grew until it was screaming, blurring my vision.
“No. No.” I sprinted up the stairs.
I threw open the door to Collette’s room.
The air was knocked out of me as I fell to my knees. Her bed was empty. Her dresser open and messed with hastily searched drawers.
Collette was gone.
A loud, agonized sob filled my ears. It was my own body making that sound.
Loving this much, this big, so hard. It’s too much. The pain was unbearable. How could people have children? Weren’t they terrified all the time? How had we survived as a species?
I wanted Collette. I wanted this family. This messy, silly, difficult life. I wanted it all.
I didn’t think I could feel a pain worse than being abandoned by my own mother, watching her drive away, but I was wrong. The pain at this moment was so intense I felt like I was dying.
I grabbed Ellie the Elephant and pulled her to my chest. It smelled like her. I curled my body around it, and the sobs started.
I let myself cry for several more minutes and let myself feel the pain tear through me.
But that was it. I wasn’t giving up. I wouldn’t.
I dialed Brooks despite the incredibly early hour.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, sleepily.
“I need my best friend,” I gasped.
“Oh.” She sucked in a soft breath. “I’m on my way.”
