“There’s no help for you.”
“It feels vaguely sexist.” I frowned.
“It was the eighties.” Brooks pushed her blond waves over her shoulder. “Why are you changing the subject? Are you avoiding the house again?”
“I’m not.” I glanced at the couple debating a charcuterie board. I lowered my voice. “I just don’t want to leave you hanging. ”
“Or is it because you’re so thirsty and don’t trust yourself around him?”
“You have to stop saying that.”
“I’m not the one eye-banging the manny,” she said.
I glanced to where an older couple looked away to chuckle with each other.
“Brooks.” I groaned and felt my ears burn.
“What? John and Phil are cool,” she said with a wave in their direction.
“Still. Speaking of vaguely sexist and outdated terminology … it’s not that.”At least not all that.“It’s hard being there. Harrison is great with Collette. Honestly, better than I ever thought, but he doesn’t …”
“Do things the way that you would do them?”
“Yes!” I said excitedly and then contained myself when I saw her skeptical eyebrow judging me. “Is that not what I’m supposed to say?”
“You have to accept the help you’re given,” she said sagely.
“I don’t love that.” I twirled the postcard rack. “He never loads the dishwasher the right way.”
“There is no right way,” she said with a laugh.
“Agree to disagree. But he also forgets to start it when he does actually load it. As I say this out loud, I see that it makes me sound anal-retentive. He’s just so messy and distracted. Even Collette has already figured this out, by the way. She fast-talks him into all her whims.”
“God, I love that kid.”
“I know. She’s going to rule the world. But for now, this tenacity is draining. I would love it more if I wasn’t the person who had to clean up behind them,” I said.
“Can I play devil’s advocate for a sec?” she said, hip cocked.
“I’ve always hated that expression. Does the devil need an advocate?”
Brooks blinked with unimpressed impatience.
“Fine. What?”
“He’s an actor who’s literally come out here just to help. He knows nothing.”
“Yeah, but neither did I, and I’ve had to figure it out,” I said, hating how shitty that sounded out loud.
“And wouldn’t it have been nice if there was someone there to have compassion and patience to help you? Sort of like George did?”
“Oof,” I said, feeling crappier by the second.
“Maybe this is less about Harrison and more about your own fears in being tied to this place,” she said blankly.
I thought of the intimacy I woke to. How he brought my tea somehow knowing exactly when I’d needed it. It was too much. It was too much to already feel myself relying on him. Wouldn’t it feel all that much harder when it came to its inevitable end?
“Damn. Okay. Maybe. But I have to protect Collette and myself. Harrison isn’t a bad guy, that much is clear, but this isn’t his life either.”
