“Anytime you get mad, you also get practice.”
“Two birds, one scone,” I said, and she chuckled.
“I’m sorry you had such a rough time in high school.”
I shook my head. “It wasn’t all bad. I had my mom.”
“And your band, right? I think I read online that you two were best friends since you were kids,” she said.
“You read online, huh?”
“Well, I needed to learn about the man who might be tutoring my student.”
I’d assumed it had been her idea to seek me out, but something in her tone made me wonder if that wasn’t the case.
“I had Vander. We were inseparable and going to leave this town once and for all, so I had that to motivate me whenever I got teased for wearing black nail polish.”
“I’m so glad times are changing. There is zero tolerance for so much of the garbage that was just ‘part of growing up.’”
“As it should be.”
“Exactly. But still. I’m glad you had Vander. It helps when you’re young.”
“It was everything.”
I couldn’t think about Vander and The Burnouts now. Especially knowingthey’d be here soon. A tug of guilt at the reminder of the conversation with Devlin. And now Big Ben’s was off the table.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, but I wasn’t sure what for.
I narrowed my eyes at the road. Vander was such a fresh bruise. Even six months later, I couldn’t poke it yet.
“Are Noah and Jonas past boyfriends?” I asked, desperate to shift the focus.
“Ew. What! No?” She straightened off the seat. “They’re my brothers. Why would you think that?”
Brothers?“In the midst of your raging, you said those names among the rest. I just assumed they were.”
“Oh. I guess I didn’t realize I was so vocal.”
I swallowed down the useful thoughts that tried to pop up when she said that.
“You know, it’s weird,” she said. “All sorts of stuff came up that I wasn’t expecting. Including my brothers, apparently. There’s a small chance I have some thoughts about that,” she said sarcastically.
“Where are they?” This was the family that had stood her up. I couldn’t understand it.
She let out a long breath. “Noah, he’s the oldest. He’s in New York. He and his partner, Asim, are corporate lawyers.” She turned and looked out the window. “And Jonas, he’s the middle. He and his wife, Alice, live in North Carolina with their two little kids.” She spoke like she read from a cold-call script. Like she’d said it a hundred times. “They aren’t too far and come down for the holidays if they aren’t with Alice’s family.”
“You aren’t close?”
“We used to be,” she said. The loneliness that seeped through her words broke my heart. “Or at least I idolized them growing up. I would survive off five minutes of their attention for months, waiting like an addict for my next hit. I would listen to the music they listened to. I would try to befriend their friends and act cool so they wouldn’t be embarrassed to have me around. But they were older. I was just starting high school when they left the state to go to college. First Noah, then a year later, Jonas. They got real jobs and never looked back. That’s just the way of it, isn’t it?”
I thought,Not always,but the tone shift warned me to keep my comments to myself.
“I’ve never understood why everyone is so quick to forget their roots. Like this town means nothing. It’s no worse or better than any other town.”
I cleared my throat uncomfortably. It was hard not to wonder if this was partially about my own return to Green Valley.
“Some people just need to find where they fit,” I offered lamely.
