“Yeah. I guess. It’s scares me how something that was such a big part of their lives for so long could be abandoned just like that,” she snapped. “Didn’t they miss it here at all?” Maybe this wasn’t about the town. “Was this place so forgettable?”
“You are anything but forgettable, Mari Mitchell,” I said in a tight voice.
She made a soft sound like she didn’t believe me and turned her head away. I wanted to pull the car over, grab her shoulders, and kiss her until she believed me. I wanted to implant the taste of myself so deep within her that she would trust my truth.
I wanted to tell her that I couldn’tstopthinking about her, no matter how hard I tried. That if there was any sort of justice in the world, I’d be able to get her out of my mind for even just a few minutes a day. But ever since she’d shown up on my lawn, she was the only thing that occupied my mind. My internal metronome was set to the beat of her heart.
We were silent as I took the exit for Green Valley. Nothing I could say would make her believe her worth if she didn’t feel it in herself. But I could show her.
Maybe I was adrift in my life right now, but I had a purpose for the first time in a long time. Mari didn’t want a relationship, but she could use a friend, and, I guess, so could I.
I could make her happy, and there was no better purpose.
“I talked to Devlin today,” I said, pulling up to her apartment building.
“Oh?” If she thought it was weird I hadn’t mentioned it earlier, she didn’t say as much.
“He said we could use the studio.”
“Thank you. Oh, amazing.” Mari launched herself at me for the second time that night, squeezing my chest.
I closed my eyes and inhaled her joy. I could avoid Vander and the band. I could help out Cath. I nudged my chin along her hair. This, right here, made it all worth it.
CHAPTER 17
MARI
If ever there was a sign the universe was conspiring against me, it was confirmed the morning after our trip to the Rage Room.
I woke up from a fitful night of confusing and stressful dreams. In one, I ran into my brothers, having found out they were back in town, but they didn’t tell me. I yelled at them, literally screamed, saying exactly what was on my mind at that moment. I woke up angry and sad, wondering why my brain fixated on something outside of my control, something I hardly ever thought about.
Lying in bed, I felt the stress of that dream settle heavy in my bones. My body ached like I’d done a booty boot camp and not smashed a bunch of junk. Today was the Fall Festival, and Leo was set to pick me up in two hours to meet the marching band outside town in the field where the Headless Chicken Festival was held. The inside of my eyelids burned, and the bed was so comfortable it was nearly impossible to roll out and into the shower.
I turned on the water and stood, blinking as it warmed up. Shivers racked my body. I don’t know how long I stood there staring, but steam had filled the bathroom when I zoned back in. The hot water felt like needles on my neck, and goose bumps covered me.
After the shower, I zoned out again as my brain debated wearing all black or something more casual and appropriate for a muddy field. A knock on the front door confused me from where I sat on my bed, facing my closet.
The towel was still wrapped around me when I answered.
Leo’s eyes widened, and he cleared his throat before focusing on my face. “You weren’t downstairs. Usually, you’re waiting outside for me.” He stumbled over his words, eyes flicking over me again before he looked pointedly at the ceiling above my head. “I wasn’t sure if I should have come up or waited...”
I could have said several things, but all of them felt like too much work. Instead, I nodded and blinked. It felt so nice to have my eyes closed that it took an extra second to open them again. I turned back and shuffled away. After a heavy pause, I heard him come in and close the door. “Are you okay?”
“Absolutely. Big Day,” I said, trying to rally myself. “Fall Carnival. The whole of Green Valley should be there to hear the Brown Bears perform.”
“Black Bears.”
“That’s what I said.” I stepped into my room and dropped my towel. The cotton felt like sandpaper on my back. I shivered and looked longingly toward my nice, happy, warm bed.
Okay. Clothes. I could do this.
“Are you talking to me? Whoa!” There was a scramble of footsteps and a loud thump before my bedroom door slammed shut. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I will...I’ll just wait in the living room.”
Time zoomed in and out, slowed down, and sped up. There was a sense of urgency that my body was not worried about. I found the clothes I’d picked out the night before—thank you, past Mari—that I’d forgotten I’d laid out. I sat on the bed to pull up my panties and jeans. It took another minute to get my bra situated. The clothes scratched like sandpaper, too stiff and cold.
I lay back on the bed, pulling the comforter to cover my top half. God, it felt so nice.
“Mari? You said you wanted to be there by ten, right?”
