Right when I was about to turn to leave, I bent to gently lift her chin. I kissed her forehead, brushing my thumb along the dimple that appeared. I searched her eyes, hoping the right answer would come to me, but I only found my feelings for her growing every second.
I didn’t look back as I walked up to Big Cabin. I needed help from someone who could talk me through this.
Chapter 19
Claire
After our toe-curling,panty-melting, incendiary make-out session, I decided that the only next right course of action was to fall into my next project. I’d made my intentions clear. It was up to him, but in the meantime, I needed to keep my mind occupied. Andhands.
The ball was in Levi’s court.
Both balls.Heh.
The strangest thing was happening to me. Since Levi’s first accidental brush, and especially since that kiss—thoughkissfalls short of describing the experience that was making out with Levi—I was lustful. Well and truly full of lust. I’d find myself daydreaming about the feel of the warm comfort of just riding in Levi’s truck and then suddenly imagined sliding across the seatto straddle him and kiss him senseless. Or I’d be thinking about his passion as he spoke of his work, that serious blaze in his eyes that matched the fire we’d been sitting in front of at the pumpkin measuring contest, and remember how good his lips tasted. I’d elaborate on my fantasy to run my hand up his thigh and test that hardness I had witnessed firsthand.
My body was a live wire. My bras rubbed me in ways I wasn’t used to, and my hand drifted under the covers into my panties every night. But it wasn’t near enough. Like scratching an itch on a knuckle, it provided no relief. I was insatiable. I had never been this restless and wanting before in my life, and quite frankly, it was humiliating because now, more than ever, Levi finally seemed to be sticking to his rules. Picture my dramatic eye roll here. When I had mentioned the boundaries, I’d sort of hoped he’d dash them out the window and sayfuck the rules, take off your shirt.
But alas, he was well and truly a gentleman. And because I was leaving soon, it was best.
I wasn’t sure about his hesitation. Was it some old-fashioned and misplaced sense of chivalry? Was it that maybe his body was into it, but the rest of him wasn’t? That made my stomach hurt, so I didn’t think about it. But what else could it be? It was times like these when I wished people could just have blunt conversations, but then I imagined his pity as he rejected me and the gurgle in my gut was back. Best not to think about that.
This would be so much easier if he just listed out every single thought he had on the subject matter as he had in the listing.
“Ugh,” I groaned.
“Are you okay?” Levi asked from the driver’s seat.
“Ah!” I jumped and gripped the door handle.
He chuckled and looked over at me disbelievingly. “If I had a nickel every time I scared you by simply existing …”
“Who carries change these days?”
“Did you really forget I was here?”
“Ha.” I chuckled good-naturedly. “No, of course not.” Honestly, yes. I was so lost in my thoughts I forgot he was right next to me, driving us to town. “Just thinking,” I added.
“Anything you want to share with the class?” he asked in a gravelly growl.
Why haven’t you kissed me since the pumpkin night last week? Why weren’t we locking lips with the little time I had left? Why won’t you show me toyouraubergine room? I’d say that last one with bouncy, suggestive eyebrows. Why haven’t we updated the rules to include mild groping? After all, what’s a bit of friendly groping between neighbors?
“No. Just thinking about my new story.” I settled on.
I had made it clear that I was interested. Anything more would be pushy or clingy.
He straightened. “Oh. Anything interesting?”
I hadn’t told Levi at the time, but something about his mom’s art had rung a bell in my brain. In that way I hadn’t felt in a while. That incessant buzz of a new story taking wing and beating against the inside of my brain. He gave me full access to the formerly locked room. And what a room it was. The life of LilyCarmichael was remarkable.
And so I chased the serotonin and lost myself to this new lead for the past few days. When he mentioned he had to go into town to meet Pace, I latched myself on to his plans in the hopes of searching the library for stories or chatting with some locals to get more information and maybe another story for the online journal I was still playing around with.
“I’m not sure yet,” I said.
He glanced over at me with a little bit of worry.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll be the first to know when I’m hooked on something real.” I patted his shoulder. “Whether you want to or not,” I teased.
He parked the truck behind the Cozy Creek B&B and hopped out. I knew the drill by now and waited for him to come around and assist me.
