She made the exact face she had with me a million times before—an arch of an almost-amused, a little-annoyed eyebrow as she tilted her head. I was transported back in time when all I wanted to do was take away her pain and keep her safe by my side.
And when I looked at her at this moment, I found I didn’tfeelanything, except the need to turn around and go back to Sophie.
What I had felt for Kaylee back then was adolescent admiration. It was that first connection you felt to someone that was everything, but it was still proximity-based and shallow. It was a real and important childhood love, but it wasn’t even close to the depth of my love for Sophie.
My insatiable quest for her body and mind. The desperation to be around her all the time, and when I was with her, to be touching her, and when I was touching her, to beinsideher.
I was a grown man, disassembled and rearranged on every level by my love. I didn’t even recognize myself.
“Sorry. Yeah.” I shook my head. “I mean, no. What did you say?”
“I didn’t mean to interrupt your date,” she said, subtly annoyed. “So, you and Sophie Kincaid. Huh.”
I didn’t want to talk about Sophie with Kaylee. I didn’t want to hear Kaylee’s shallow, decades-old impressions of her.
“She always danced to the beat of her own drum. I admired that about her,” she went on when I didn’t respond.
Sophie and Levi were lost in the crowd, blocked by a big group of dancers. I had my hands deep in my dress pants pockets, arching my neck to find them. There was a stirring among the people around us, a few more looks than necessary. The drama of me dancing with Sophie in public at the first major event since we became ... close was news enough, and now Kaylee was here?—
“I mean, she wasn’t one of the popular kids, but who cares about that now? Very shy though.” Kaylee’s head tilted. “How does she handle being with such an outgoing personality?”
Handle?
I was defensive. There was no way Kaylee could talk about Sophie without me feeling protective. She wasn’t hers to talk about.
“Kaylee. What is it that you want?” I asked, turning back to her.
She flushed and looked down at her toes. “I don’t want you to be mad at me.”
Her response surprised me, and I let out a breath to relax some of my tension.
“I’m not,” I said honestly. I didn’t even think about her, but I remembered her well enough to know that she wouldn’t like that answer. “Things are just new with Sophie, and you know how this place is.”
She guffawed. “Yes. I’ve been asked at least a dozen times if I’d come and talk to you yet. That’s why I’m doing it here with God and everyone to see, so they can just shut up about it already.”
“They have a long memory,” I said.
“I’m sure half of them want us to get back together. God, could you imagine? Like our little high school fling was that serious.” I looked back at her with a frown. Something must have shown on my face because she added quickly, “I just mean, let it go. It was a million years ago, and we were kids, right?”
“We were in love. I proposed,” I said, dumbfounded. Had we been living in two different realities?
I blinked at her. I’d had so much that I wanted to say, so much sadness and anger for years. It had felt like a bomb had gone off when she left, and she mentioned it now offhandedly, as if it were just some funny story we shared.
She sighed. “I know, but I didn’t want to lead you on. You were ... intense. And I needed to get away from this freaking place. It’s like a black hole.” She glanced around, shifting on her feet. “You and I both knew it wasn’t that serious.”
It wasn’t that serious. . .
Words I had thrown out before, thrown back in my face.
I felt sick. It was like I’d imagined it all. It had been that serious to me. How could I have ever muttered those words to Sophie, even if I had been trying to help.
“I-I—” My heart hammered in my chest. “This isn’t the right time to have this conversation. It should have happened a decade ago.”
Had Sophie thought the same things about me? Was I only the good-time guy, incapable of anything serious? It was too much to hear this right now. I was already so anxious to know about Sophie’s feelings. I couldn’t take this. I knew this had all been a mistake.
“I have to go.” I was already walking away.
“Pace?” She huffed an indignant laugh.
