I was dizzy from all the confusing and conflicting emotions, but I shouldn’t have left Sophie. I should have stayed by her side. That much was clear. I needed to know where we stood. Every insecurity about the relationships of my life felt like tar seeping out of my skin, sticking down my feet as I made my way to her.
When I looked up again, Levi spoke to Sophie, his face serious. She listened and nodded, but the familiar signs of her growing anxiety surfaced. The way she seemed to hunch in on herself, the way she twisted her fingers. Signs that hadn’t been there earlier. She’d been so confident and sure of us being here together. I flinched internally, palms sweating to reach for her. I’d caused her shift. If I were still at her side, her anxieties wouldn’t be taking over. I would be holding her hand. I would be giving her my strength. I needed to get back to her. We could reassure each other that what we had was real.
Her gaze flicked around the room, her shoulders rising closer to her ears.
Claire and Levi formed a unit of protection around her as she began to back up, horror growing on her features.
I felt sick with trepidation as I looked around the room, sensing the energy shift in the way it did when there was drama. People whispered with heads close over shared phone screens.
“What’s going on?” I stepped forward and tapped the arm of a guy who was talking with somebody, the phone between them.
He jumped when he registered who I was.
“Uh,” he said.
Then I looked up and saw that mean girl Vicky was talking to Sophie, who’d gone colorless.
“Shit,” I swore.
My body shook as I found Sophie moving to leave the room.
“Sophie?” I called after her.
“Pace, hey, let’s talk outside.” Levi put a hand on my shoulder before I got to her, speaking quietly in my ear.
“No. Tell me. What’s going on?” Every muscle in my body was rigid. I had to help Sophie. I couldn’t let her leave.
Sophie was almost at the doors.
“Sophie!” I yelled sharply, and several people gasped and lifted their heads. “Wait!”
She turned in slow motion toward me. Her eyes were as wide and terrified as that night I showed up with her list. She shook her head back and forth in the smallest motion.
“Where are you going?” I asked, appalled by the time I reached her. I was struggling to control my volume.
“Maybe we should go outside?” Claire said.
I shook my head. “No. No. What’s going on?”
“I-I have to go,” Sophie said. Her voice was whisper-quiet. Her eyes flicked to the crowd behind me, probably to where Kaylee told her with her eyes that I was too intense, warning her to run. This wasn’t right. I needed a plan. The night had gotten off the rails, but I could fix it.
If I could keep Sophie safe, if I could protect her from pain or shame, she would see this was real. That I was serious about us and our future.
That I was worth a future.
“You were just going to leave? Without telling me?” My voice shook.
“I was g-going to text.” Her wide eyes grew glassy with moisture.
She was hurting. I had done this. I had screwed up the night. I had to fix this. I had to find a way to fix everything.
My mind raced.
My neck burned.
“You promised you wouldn’t just disappear. You promised me you would tell me before you left.” I felt sick with terror. She was going to leave. She’d promised that she wouldn’t do that.
“Pace. Man, let’s go outside,” Levi said, a gentle hand on my shoulder.
