I could do this. I could show myself and Pace that I wasn’t afraid.
But as the cold seeped into my bits and my fingers slowly lost feeling, I debated the merits of this gesture. After all, maybe awell-written letter would be better? Or some sort of chocolate? Anything had to be better than losing feeling in my feet.
What if he hadn’t seen the post on the city’s social media site? What if I were out here with everyone and their mother watching me get ready to make a fool out of myself for nothing?
“Oh,” I moaned again.
I glanced up to see Claire giving me a thumbs-up. She had helped me come up with this absurd idea the other night at Bookers. I needed to do something to show Pace I wasn’t afraid. Or rather, I was afraid, but I could do scary things to show him what he meant to me.
And hell, after the whole town saw the list, this was a walk in the park. Well, a jog through the park.
Claire came up to me and whispered, “Who would have thought that all these people would be this interested in seeing you naked and running through town? Actually, now that I’m saying it out loud, of course they are. Who wouldn’t? Am I right? Oh, look, even little Mrs. Elkins is here. Isn’t she the retired librarian? Hey, why are you getting so pale?”
I wrapped my arms tighter around my middle. “I’m not actually naked,” I mumbled helplessly. “I don’t want to be arrested for public indecency.”
“Good. Yeah. Of course not, you’re notactually naked.” Claire repeated the last bit loudly for all to hear.
A few men grumbled something and left.
“Gross,” we said in unison.
“There are so many people here. Looking at me,” I said through my teeth, a smile plastered to my face.
Grandma El was passing out bags of popcorn with Gigi.
“Lots of whispering,” I added.
“Who cares. People whisper about me all the time.” Claire waved away my worries.
“You’re right. Who cares.” I rubbed my arms up and down; this terry-cloth robe wasn’t doing much. “Actually. I care a lot. I am pretty sure I have had this exact stress dream before. Oh, look, there’s my high school math teacher. Yep. Great.”
“Want me to take you home?” Claire asked, worry knitting her brow.
I took a deep breath in and out—the sharp burn of the cold gave me clarity. I lifted my chin and balled my fists with determination. This was the person I wanted to be. Someone who could do scary things for the people they love.
“I have spent my whole life being terrified of living. Now that I have had a taste of really being alive, I cannot go back. I would rather learn how to handle feeling everything than nothing at all. Pace taught me that was worth it,” I said to her.
“You got this.” Her face melted into a soft smile, and she gave me a quick hug. I had never been more thankful for a new friend.
I nodded, hopping up and down. “I’m going to give Pace five more minutes, and then I’m heading home. ‘Naked’ and running through town. Whether he is here or not.”
“You are a badass, you know that?”
I had responded to Grandma El’s accidental post instead of deleting it, leaning into the humiliation. I’d made an addendum to the list by adding one more item:
Run naked through town this Saturday at 3 p.m.
And so, here I was. Waiting for Pace to show him how far I’d come because of his help.
I stood on tiptoes looking for him in the crowd. It was hard. With so many winter hats and scarves, it wasn’t as easy to spot his trademark good looks and dark reddish-blond hair.
“I’m going to go get you a hot chocolate at least,” Claire said before hurrying off into the crowd.
I walked in a small circle, hoping I might be able to spot him coming from a different direction. I made it to the gazebowhere the largest crowd had formed. I pushed and “excuse me’d” through people who didn’t even know why they were there. To be fair, Cozy Creek loved an event, and they probably assumed this was just another one. And it was.
I was doing this. I stretched one arm across my chest and then the other. I grabbed my ankle to stretch my quad, the way I’d seen Pace do a hundred times—almost fell over—and I was ready to go.
I had just about completed my circle when Vicky Lambert came to a stop in front of me.
