“I walked into the bank, and right away things were off. Pam wasn’t working like we thought,” she said.
I sat up straighter.Wewas a nice way of saying that my instructions were wrong. “Who was it?”
“Vicky Lambert.” She glanced away with a swallow. “Do you know her?”
I nodded. “Her mom’s on the city council, right? Mrs. Wilson?”
“Yeah. She’s on every committee and organization. And her daughter is everything I’m not,” she said.
“Sophie,” I admonished.
She held up her hand and stopped me. “I just mean that she is a part of everything. She never rests, never stops.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Vicky Lambert did seem to have her fingers in a lot of pies. “I didn’t know she worked at the bank.”
“I think her mom owns that branch. I guess Pam was out sick, and she was filling in.”
I nodded, and she went on.
“Now, I hope the next part doesn’t make me sound spiteful, but you know how there are some people you just don’t click with? Like, your energies are completely opposite?”
I tried to think, but the only time I felt like that was when I tried to help Sophie and kept screwing up. I didn’t think that was what she meant. I was drawn to Sophie in a way that reconfigured my usual system settings. I kept stumbling through our interactions, but at the same time, I felt a closeness to her that I hadn’t felt with anybody in years. Without meaning to, Sophie was the closest anyone had been to seeing a real version of me.
I swallowed with effort.
“You don’t know what I’m talking about.” She shook her head. “Of course not. But with her, there’s a history there. She was in our grade, do you remember?”
I nodded, though I had forgotten.
“You were probably too busy with Kaylee,” she mumbled.
Hearing my ex’s name out of Sophie’s mouth was so jarring that I stalled out for a moment.
“Vicky wasn’t exactly a bully or anything. She just seemed like she was annoyed by my presence. Like she couldn’t understand how people like me existed, like I didn’t fit in with her worldview. She had a way of making me feel evenlessthan I already did.”
I took a deep breath in and out. I would have to remember that. I did remember that her husband was a tool bag. One ofthose guys who made condescending comments about “the old ball and chain,” thinking that was just how men talked. Like being married was a chore and not a chance to spend every moment with your best friend.
“Vicky was one of the popular girls. Even now, she looks like she hasn’t aged. Her skin is flawless, her hair flowing and styled to be just trendy enough without making her look a specific age,” Sophie explained as she toyed with one of my fingers. “She was the sort of winner of the system that both loathed and appreciated losers like me because we shined a light on her inherentbetterness. She was what happened to mean girls if they were never educated on how the patriarchy pits us against each other. Honestly, how do these women even exist in this day and age? If you aren’t a girl’s girl, what are you even doing? Living to impress men? Gross.”
I raised an eyebrow at her.
“Sorry. Grandma will be happy to hear of that random tangent. Even if Vicky wasn’t the worst, we’d still probably not be friends. There are certain people who just trigger you. Whose humor has never jived with my own. Who every conversation with was painful. Even if you understood why. Even if you didn’t want them to. They just did. You know?”
“I do,” I said honestly. I thought of that prick at the gym who made a pass at her. Perfect example.
“Yeah?” She seemed so surprised; I let out a breath.
“Yes, Sophie, even I don’t click with everyone.” I looked again at our threaded fingers.
Deep inside my chest, there was this strange feeling unfurling, like a rope that had been twisted tight had started to fray. It wasn’t bad at all, just unsettling. Confusing.
I should let go of our hands. This was a strange thing to be doing.
Only.
It didn’t feel strange with Sophie. It felt more natural than anything I’d done in a while.
I realized that the sensation in my chest was the opposite sensation of that painful tightening I’d been suffering from lately.
