Because John Morovov was—and is—trying to fuck with me?
Because she’s onto this shadow network and it’s making someone nervous?
Or because she’s the woman I can imagine making mine forever?
It was too soon to guess why she’d been targeted, but as I fought the urge to correct her about how wrong she was, about how intensely she mattered to me, I had to war with the internal admission of how I could let her in without letting her weaken me.
20
ELENA
While Adrik was out of town, I stayed at the main house and worked for as long as I possibly could each day. Being productive and keeping my mind committed to a task prevented me from dwelling on how things stood between us.
From his texted request that I investigate how this Gregori individual could be behind a network, he still acted like my boss.
Because, like it or not, that was what he was.
I felt like an idiot to wait for a call or voicemail that might have indicated he wanted to be something other than that. Someone other than the man my father had given me to.
But that’s not going to happen.
The fact that he left town after having sex with me spoke volumes. This time, he wasn’t dismissing me, even though he had told me to leave his office. Instead, he was dismissing himself and putting distance between us.
The morning that I woke up after the attempted break-in, I needed even more things to keep me preoccupied. I didn’t want to dwell on thoughts of him, I didn’t want to dwell on the thoughts of who could’ve tried to break in, and I didn’t want to dwell on how we hadn’t used protection when we had sex in his office.
How is this my life?
I rubbed my forehead and dreaded the start of a tension headache.
Nikolai had been there first thing this morning. He was at least kind and patient when he explained that an intruder had been stopped from breaking in during the middle of the night. He was clear, calm, and collected when he said that no one had gotten in.
But his easygoing nature didn’t fool me. I saw the splatters of blood on the porch. What he wasn’t telling me was that the Volkov men had killed the intruder.
I had never been this close to violence before. Not like this. I didn’t have a social life when I worked for my father. I never went out, didn’t have any drama from friendships, boyfriends, or exes.
How ironic is that?
I was an accomplice to many crimes by being the qualified accountant for criminal organizations. I didn’t know which ones for so long, yet, I never faced any actual danger from criminals themselves.
Until now.
Worry remained a constant for the entire day.
Questions about what happened. And why.
Thoughts about scary what-ifs.
Even though Nikolai and the other Volkovs were quick to persuade me into thinking that I was safe, that message didn’t get into my brain. I heard their reassurances. I saw the guards patrolling on the property. But I was so shaken by the possibility of someone breaking into that house that I couldn’t wrap my head around any actual sense of security.
It was only human nature to want to be comforted once scared. It made sense when security was threatened. And in my mind, that meant that I wanted Adrik.
Safety was a concept I had associated with him. Being near that powerful man made me feel protected. And it only made this distance between us worse. He didn’t want to be by me. He had flown somewhere far away, just to get away from me and the fact that he’d surrendered to his desire for me.
Why does it have to hurt so much?
I rubbed my chest.
It confused me, and wishing he’d be here dragged me down into a pit of despair and worry that only intensified with how someone had tried to break in.
