I hold her tighter still and it's more of a hug, both arms wrapped around her completely, her face buried in my neck.
People are watching, I can feel it. The peripheral awareness of eyes turning toward us, conversations pausing, the whole room noting that the best man is holding the bridesmaid like she's the only thing keeping him upright.
I don't care. I'm so far past caring that the concept has lost all meaning. Let them see. Let the whole town see. Let Harbor Hill log it in the gossip record that Ruth will distribute by morning.
Callahan Holt held Lily Moreland on a dance floor and didn't let go, and everyone who looked at them knew exactly what it meant.
She pulls back just enough to tip her face up to mine. Her eyes are wet and wide and full of something that looks like goodbye, and I want to grab that look and shove it somewhere it can't hurt us. I'm not ready. I'm never going to be ready.
"I know I'm young compared to you." Her voice is barely there, cracked down the middle. "It's a fact you and my brother won't let me forget."
"Lily..."
"But you never forget, Callahan." Her lip trembles. Her eyes fill fresh and she doesn't blink them back, just lets them spill down her cheeks. "That this stupid young heart loves you very much."
And there goes all the air inside my chest.
"And always will."
I open my mouth to say it back. Her name. The truth. The words I've been choking on for months.
But she steps back before I can get them out. Holds her hands up, palms toward me, warding me off.
"I need to go."
"Baby..."
She shakes her head once, the kind of shake that says don't follow me, don't touch me, don't say a single word because I am barely upright and if you speak I will fall apart completely and I cannot do that here.
She turns and walks off the dance floor. Fast, heels sharp on the wood, shoulders squared, head high.
She doesn't look back. Not once. I stand there, frozen in the middle of the floor while the song ends and another begins and people move around me like I'm a stone in a river.
She told me she loves me. She told me she loves me and I let her walk away without saying it back.
Rome's hand closes around my arm and hauls me off the floor, guiding me toward the shadows at the edge of the venue where the music goes muffled and the fairy lights don't reach.
A shuddering breath tears out of me. "Don't fucking touch me, man.”
I grab the back of my neck because I'm coming apart.
"I saw," Rome says behind me. "The whole place saw, Cal."
"I can't do it." I press my fist against my chest like I can make the pain stop through force. It doesn't work. Nothing works.
"Go home, Cal. We'll talk tomorrow."
"No." I straighten up and turn to face him. "We talk now. It has to be now because I physically cannot hold it in anymore."
Rome waits. He's always been good at that.
"I love her."
The words come out clean, the easiest words I have ever said. I choked on them five minutes ago in front of the woman they belonged to and I refuse to choke on them again.
"Cal." Rome's voice is careful. "Come on, let's sit down. We don't have to do this here."
"You have no idea how hard I fought this," I say, ignoring him. "No fucking idea."
