He doesn't move. Doesn't speak. His face is a mask and his hands are shoved in his pockets and he just stands there and lets me talk.
"I'm so fucking tired." I scrub a hand over my face. "I am exhausted from fighting this."
For a second, something flickers in his eyes. Something that might be understanding, but it's gone before I can be sure.
"I know you said not to hold her back." I'm going to say all of it now because I've been silent for too long and silence just cost me the best thing I've ever had.
"She's so close, so don't for a second think of holding her back."
"It pisses me off to know you think I would do that when I tell you I love her.” I stare him down. “And I know this might cost me our friendship. I know it might blow up everything we've built, this whole family we have patched up together. But I won't give her up for that. I can't. If that's the price, I'll pay it."
His mask is holding, but barely. I see the cracks starting to spread.
"I am not going to stand in another room and watch that woman walk away from me without telling her what she is tome. I've done that. I've been doing it for months. And I can't do it anymore."
I step closer.
"You want to be angry, be angry. You want to shut me out, go ahead. I broke my word and I'd do it again tomorrow and I'll stand here and take whatever you need to throw at me."
My voice drops. "But don't you dare tell me I don't love her enough. Don't tell me this is casual or reckless or something I stumbled into because she's young and pretty and I have to stand back.”
My voice cracks on the next part, but I keep going.
"I have been in love with your sister since the moment I saw her and forgot my own goddamn name. It hasn't changed. It's never going to change."
Fuck, I am tired. Fuck.
Rome holds my gaze for a long moment before his eyes drift somewhere past my shoulder, staring at something I can't see.
"You're a hypocrite," I tell him quietly. "You fell in love with Erin even though you didn't want to. You didn't choose it any more than I chose this. The only difference is nobody stood in your way."
His face changes, just a small crack, and when his eyes find mine again I see his struggle, too.
His hands come out of his pockets and hang at his sides.
"She's my baby sister." His voice is rough now, stripped of the control he's been wearing all night. "She's the only family I have, Cal. I gave up years of my life to make sure she got a chance at hers. And now she's about to get everything she's worked for, and you're telling me you want to be the thing that pulls her back?"
"I'm not holding her back!" I yell. "I'm going with her."
Rome goes completely still, shock visible.
"I'm not asking her to choose between me and her future. I'm going with her to Chicago."
It's the first time I've said it out loud. The thought that's been taking shape in the back of my mind for weeks, too fragile to look at directly. But it's real now. Solid. The only answer that makes any sense.
Rome only stares at me. "You'd leave Harbor Hill?"
"Yes."
"The firehouse. Your house. Your whole life?"
"Yes!"
"Your father."
That one lands exactly where he aimed it, in the center of my entire existence.
"I'll figure it out." The composure is crumbling and I need to get out of here before it goes entirely. "I'll figure it out because she's worth figuring it out for."
