It’s justeverything. All the time. Forever.
She’s come into my room while I’ve been sniffing my collection of unused candles just as often as she’s seen me watching Frost.
So what is there to mention?
Nothing, that’s what.
Absolutely nothing.
Kyran cannot possibly know I would give him a kidney if he needed it because I adore himthat much.
Also, if anyoneeverasks, no. That isnota FrostPlays made-to-order plushie in my system’s reward store. I donotplan to purchase a several-hundred-dollar doll of a man I know personally, and I donotdesperately want to cuddle his likeness either. Not one tiny bit.
That’s weird, weird behavior.
Almost, yet not quite, as weird as that very man looking me in the eye in a public space and telling me he’s been abad boy.
A pitiful whimper escapes my poor body, which suffered greatly today beneath a heart rate of, I suspect, at least three hundred.
Fine.
Fine.
I admit it.
I’m notthatfangirl, but I amafangirl.
Kyran is unhinged in the best ways. I can never predict what he’s going to come up with next. My clearly starved-for-stimulation brainbegsfor his off-the-cuff dry humor in ways I cannot put into words.
He’s funny. He’s hot. He keeps looking at me with those striking blue eyes. He keepsblessingme with rare sights of his smile…
He’s just so muchfun, and everything about him warms something in my chest.
It’s pitiful, but I can still feel the blazing sensation of his leg against my knee under the table.
It has been hours since we were at Brew Tea, but it’s still there, lingering. For all his inappropriate jokes and comments, the man rarely—if ever—touches me. He’s respectful. Kind. Considerate. And would leave me in peace—if I only ask.
The issue is: I don’t want him to leave. Ever.
But I also don’t want him to bemine.
Not like he keeps suggesting he’d like me to behis.
All I want is for him to stay in my life, not grow bored of me, and not realize that I’m very much an unassuming, uninteresting maid. Zero ambitions. Zero hobbies I’m good at—unless you countcrow collectoras a hobby. Zero romantic appeal.
I’m average. Average weight. Average height. Average interests. Average skills.
Anyone can do anything I can do, which is why I’m amaid. Cleaning is easy to do well when there’s nothing at all you can manage exceptionally.
I’m not interested in letting Kyran close enough for him to understand I’m not all that worth pursuing. It would hurt too much if I let my feelings go somewhere right around the time he figures it out. So I’d really rather him drop thepursuingpart and come to think of me as a sister.
If I’ve learned anything in twenty-two years, it’s that family stays, even when you’re nothing special. But friends and lovers?
They don’t.
Chapter 4
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