Sadness filled me to the core. “I want to leave him. I do. But I don’t know how. I can’t decipher if it’s the fear of being alone, the comfortability I’m accustomed to, or the familiarity of the relationship. Orrr...” I exaggerated. “Maybe I’m weak, Cassie.”
She took a minute to respond, like she was choosing her words carefully.
“I think when it’s the right time, you will leave. It will be something you feel in your soul, and that unsettling feeling won’t go away until he no longer has access to you. No one, not even me, can tell you when to walk away. I’ve learned that a woman has to want to leave. The more people try to force you to leave, the more you’ll cling to a damaged relationship.”
Cassie looked me directly in my eyes, allowing me to process her words. Then, she continued. “When a woman reaches that point, fears, doubts, and hesitation will be a thing of the past. She’ll know when she’s had enough, and there will be no turning back. Best believe when a woman is done, there is nothing a nigga can do to change her mind. When that time comes, it means she has taken all her power back.”
Will a day ever come when I’ll walk away from Shane for good?
No back and forth.
No questions.
No tears.
No excuses.
No guilt.
No regrets.
The only thing on my mind would be running as far away as I can from his trifling ass.
I stood there, quiet as a mouse, thinking hard about what Cassie said. Many thoughts in my brain, but none formed into spoken words.
She pulled me toward her and gave me one of the most comforting hugs I have ever received in my life. I pulled away from her but held onto her arms. “Girl, I appreciate you.”
“No problem. You know I got you.”
My heart was heavy, and my soul begged for a release. I needed to lighten the tension before I started crying.
“If only I was rich or could get a large lump sum of money from somewhere. I’d pack up my things, and my daughter and I would get the hell on. I would go to some faraway place where that nigga would never be able to find me.”
Cassie leaned against a large, scratched-up, black bin, looking as if she was deep in thought.
“Oh shoot, Ember! How could I forget?” She jogged over to her locker and pulled out her purse.
I lifted my brows in confusion.
“Why didn’t I think of this sooner?” Cassie kept talking as she retrieved her phone. “I have the perfect solution for your money problems.”
Now she had my full attention.
“Ember, hear me out. So, last night after my husband and I got done doing the do, we lay in bed eating snacks when a random commercial appeared on the screen.”
Cassie was taking forever to get to the point, but I let her continue.
“Let me cut straight to the chase,” she said as if she’d heard my thoughts. “You know, sometimes I be going on and on.”
I smiled because she was right. That’s what made me like her. She was being her authentic self.
“It was an advertisement for surrogacy.”
Surrogacy?
“Huh?” I asked, like I didn’t hear her clearly.
“I said it was a commercial about becoming a surrogate,” she clarified in a different way. Maybe she thought rephrasing would help me better understand.
