She nodded. “I’m sorry. I’ve been going through it mentally knowing that I can’t give you a baby, and then hearing you mention a surrogate just triggered me.”
Finally, she was admitting how she felt.
“Beautiful, we don’t have to get a surrogate. If you tell me to find another way, whether it’s adoption or something else, we can do that.”
For a while, she didn’t say anything, then she uttered, “Reason, I want to make you happy.”
“You do make me happy.”
She flashed a half-smile, but disappointment lingered in her eyes.
“I trust you, and I trust your decision. If you feel like this is the right thing to do, then go ahead with your plan.”
“With my plan?” I questioned without waiting for a response. “It’s going to beourplan. I want you to be just as involved as I will be.”
Saje lightly sighed. “And I will be involved, but babe, for now, I need some time. Get everything started, and we’ll go from there.”
I wasn’t buying it. This was for us, and I couldn’t grasp why Saje didn’t want to be included from the beginning. “Are you sure you’re comfortable with this? We can put everything on pause until you’re good and want to be part of the process.”
Saje squeezed my knee. “No, no, baby. It’s okay. You have my permission to make any decision regarding this new journey. I’ll be fine. Before you know it, you won’t be able to keep me away. You’ll start saying I’mtooinvolved with the planning of our… our baby.”
“Thank you, Saje baby.” I grinned, unable to contain the joy I felt.
I had Saje wrapped up in my arms, hoping she felt how deeply she was loved.
My wife was giving me full control over a world I had no clue about. She was relying on me to make it happen. I would have preferred we did this together from start to finish. But I wouldn’t pressure her. I believed she would be happy once we startedreceiving updates about our growing baby, right up until the day we were able to bring her or him home. Just the thought of it was already putting a smile on my face, and we hadn’t even begun the process yet.
All I knew was I couldn’t fail Saje.
Instead of a phone meeting like I originally requested, we switched to a video meeting. The owners, Nehemiah and Amara Honor, personally held the meeting with me. After Basheer told them how adamant I was about keeping my identity a secret, they stepped up and excluded the rest of their team from the meeting. I didn’t know who was working for them. If any of their employees knew who I was, I couldn’t risk Saje and my personal business reaching the public. These days, people would do anything for money, even leak business that’s supposed to be confidential.
News about Reason and Saje St. Pierre getting a surrogate would be a celebrity gossip host’s dream. And that just couldn’t happen, not right now at least.
Amara took charge of the meeting while Nehemiah backed her up. They had all the knowledge, especially since they hired surrogates to carry all four of their children. This was the motivation behind them starting their surrogacy agency. I felt more comfortable as the meeting continued.
They had me run down my list of concerns, wants, and my expectations for the surrogate. This was all new to me, but I expressed anything that came to mind. I preferred a surrogate from the West Coast since that was my hometown. While the surrogate carried my baby, I didn’t want her working. I would pay for the meals I wanted her to eat while my little onedeveloped. Furthermore, offering to pay for all doctor visits, pregnancy massages, and a safe environment for her to live in during the pregnancy were things I had no problems providing.
To keep it fair, I accepted that the surrogate would remain anonymous too. I was hesitant to agree to that at first, but it was only fair. But I did request that she be a full-figured Black woman. Someone who had the same body type and skin color as Saje. She didn’t have to be her twin, but I needed some similarities. I didn’t care how long it took them to find what I needed. My goal was for my wife to feel as connected to our baby as possible given our situation.
Both Nehemiah and Amara assured me they would find what I wanted and handle the case themselves to keep our information from falling into the wrong hands.
We concluded the call with me agreeing to pay the surrogate eighty thousand, and that didn’t include paying for the other things she would need or what I wanted her to have. The plan was for her to get forty thousand dollars upfront and the rest when the baby was safely in Saje and my arms.
Our meeting lasted almost three hours, and I was dog ass tired, like I had done some serious work. It could have been a mental thing because I never thought I would need a surrogate to carry my seed. Things in life always happened unexpectedly, shifting the journey, but it was up to us to adjust to the shit.
“I thought Saje would be with you for something so important,” Basheer mentioned as soon as the video call with the Honors ended.
“She got tied up with work,” I lied, willing to do anything to protect her privacy.
“Aight, Bruh.” He backed down, knowing if I didn’t offer any more information, it was best not to keep pushing.
I felt a way about not having my wife in this meeting with me to make these serious decisions, but again, I was capable of doing this for us.
Before Basheer got off the phone, I made a last-minute decision. I told him to handle things moving forward. If my presence was required, I’d show up. Otherwise, it was on him to get the small details squared away. Still, I expected consistent updates and a detailed breakdown of what was happening. He already had my list of dos, don’ts, wants, and needs.
I explained that my schedule would be packed over the next few weeks, and with Saje filming, we needed someone dependable who could step in for us. As a bonus, this kept Basheer out of my personal business about why Saje could not attend the meetings.
When the call ended, a surge of excitement ran through me.
