“Man of your talents? No problem.”
“You don’t know how many times I’ve either been sacked or told bosses to shove things up their arse.”
Derek snorted. He could well imagine bratty Kierantelling someone their fortune if he didn’t agree with what they said.
“I still think we should go to the clinic,” said Derek. “Just to be safe. There’s other stuff.”
“It’s okay. Hassan can do all that for me when he gets home tomorrow.”
“I thought he was an A&E doctor?”
“Yeah, but he can take my blood and drop it off at the clinic. I don’t like anyone else doing it. He does it for my checkups every six months. We made an agreement with the clinic I use.”
“Kieran, I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. At least you know now why I’m only good for guys to fuck. I mean, who’s going to want anything more with me? I’m going to lie down.”
He got up before Derek could say anything. Things clicked into place. The self-loathing Kieran carried with him. He thought no one would ever love him in the way everyone deserves. It broke Derek’s heart, but he needed to stay strong for Kieran. It was only when he’d heard the bedroom door close and let a few minutes pass that he allowed his own tears to fall.
CHAPTER 15
KIERAN
“You’ve been here two weeks,” said Hassan. “You should come home. Let me look after you.”
“You’ve got work, and Omar. I’m fine here.”
“Kieran, you’re the most important person in my life. I’ve had my shifts moved to days so I can be with you at night. Derek works in a club. I don’t like the idea of you being here on your own.”
“Derek hasn’t been into the club since I’ve been staying here.”
“What?”
“Well, he’s been in, but he’s not stayed late. He’s always here when I go to sleep, and when I wake up.”
Kieran kept it to himself that he’d been sleeping in Derek’s bed for two weeks. He felt safe at night in Derek’s arms. Not something he’d say to Hassan, though. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt his best friend. It had been bad enough when he’d gotten home and Kieran told him what happened. Hassan had felt bad for being away when Kieran needed him and then told him off for not calling him straight away. On the plus side, he wasn’t being an arsehole about Derek anymore.
Kieran had needed to snap at Derek after a couple of days, for tiptoeing around him after he’d disclosed his HIV status. He had blamed Derek and his mum for a long time, but he was the one who’d taken the risk with his health. It was on him, and blaming other people changed nothing, it just made you bitter. He wasn’t sure how he’d have gotten through the past two weeks without Derek. All his tests had come back from the clinic as negative, although Hassan had injected him in the arse with an antibiotic as a precaution. It had hurt like a bitch.
“Are you going to stay here permanently?” asked Hassan, looking concerned.
“No. I need to just focus on one thing at a time, and the first is to get a job.”
“Have you heard from Grant?”
“He’s called a few times and sent texts, but I’ve ignored them. He’ll get the message eventually. I’ve had a few texts from people too. Carl said I’d quit, but I didn’t reply to them.”
“Do you think Grant will leave it at that?”
“What’s he gonna do? He can’t force me to work for him.”
“What if he comes round here when Derek is out?”
“He could do that at home when you’re at work. You don’t need to baby me, Hassan.”
Hassan looked hurt, and Kieran hated seeing that look on his face, so he pulled him into a hug.
“I’m sorry, but I’m okay here. It’s not forever, but it works for now. If I go home, it means I have to deal with shit. This is like being on holiday, and Derek’s a better cook than you.”
