He gently pulled me a step closer, leaning down and said, “You do feel it, right? The easy way we have with each other. The way the rest of the world melts away when we’re together.Just like here, in this moment.” He shook his head. “No one else exists when we’re near each other.”
Oh my. This man had the ability to look into my heart and see things no other man ever had. The fact that I was here in this room was proof that he had come to mean something to me in such a short time. Exactly what I still didn’t know. There was no denying how close we’d gotten so quickly, how much fun we had, and how in tune we seemed to be with one another, but what he was suggesting was crazy. I took a step back, trying to understand.
“Mike, I, I can’t deny that I feel something. It’s taken me by surprise, too, and I have no idea what to do with it. Honestly, the need to be here tonight, to know that you were okay, is crazy. I just had to come. Butmarriage?”
“It’s a leap of faith, I know that. And it’s not just because of Grammy. The thought of you leaving and going back to Italy.” He shook his head. “I don’t think I could take it, Ren. I can’t lose you, too.”
He whispered the last sentence, and I closed my eyes, trying to figure out what to say, what to do. His words, his touch, were doing things to me I’d never experienced. When Mike was near, my deep loneliness lifted, replaced by joy and lightness, a sense of belonging that I hadn’t begun to comprehend.
“I feel it, Mike. Idofeel it. But—” I whispered, searching his eyes.
The entire waiting room had gone silent. Not one word was spoken. Not a sound was made, as if the world had paused on its axis, holding its breath as it witnessed this scene.
He let go of my hands and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me a few inches closer, closing the gap I’d just created. His hold was light enough that I could walk away if I wanted, but tight enough that I felt his strength.
Somehow, I needed it. His gentle but firm touch made me relax, my breathing slowing back to normal. I couldn’t understand the effect he had on me. The same peace I’d just prayed over him, now blanketed me as I blinked up at him.
I could hear my mother’s voice telling me not to let a man have that kind of effect on me, to not rely on him for these things. But what Mike was doing was asserting his strength and offering it to me with his gentle and firm touch.
And what shocked me the most was how strong it mademefeel. I’d never experienced anything like this with a man.
“Ren, I don’t have much to offer you. God knows I am not perfect. But you want to be here in San Diego. Don’t you see? I think God is at work here. And the friendship we feel so easily and so strongly is a foundation some couples don’t have, even if they’ve known each other for years. Our faith binds us in a way that will help us overcome anything. Together. Slowly, day by day.”
He pulled me closer, his breath fanning over my face as we were inches from each other. “You said your dream is to have your own business and that San Diego feels like home. You’ve told me how lonely your life feels in Tuscany. Vicky is here. This crazy group of people standing here gawking at us is here.” He swallowed and lowered his voice. “I’mhere.”
My eyes pricked with tears again as I tried to grasp what was happening.
“But Mike, we’re not in love. I mean, I’m not asking for my husband to be a knight in shining armor, but in the least, I expect us to be in love,” I said, breathlessly. I had no idea what I was saying because that was the kind of relationship I knew I’d never have. And yet my heart longed for it somehow.
He didn’t speak for so long, I was sure he would let me go both physically and emotionally, and suddenly I didn’t want himto do either one of those things. The thought of Mike walking away from me made me feel empty and restless.
Then he spoke words that until my dying breath, I’ll never forget. They were from one of my favorite chapters in the whole Bible.
“Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is long suffering. It holds no grudges, is not boastful. It always trusts, always hopes. Renata, love comes in all forms. And for the first time in so long, I have hope that God can create beauty from the ashes of my life. Listen, I believe we have more than enough of a foundation to stand on, and then we can let God, the author of love, do what He does best.”
“What is that?” I asked, desperate for his answer, my heart beating in my ears so loudly I was afraid to miss what he was saying.
“Miracles.” His whisper sent chills down my spine.
I felt a strong presence swirling around us like a tornado, stirring up unfamiliar feelings. Hope. Love. Joy. It was as if everything in my life had built up to this moment. This life-altering moment.
Mike was standing in front of me with a look so sincere, so pure. In my mind’s eye, I saw what I’d be leaving behind: lonely nights watching cable TV, long days working for a man who never saw my worth, the coldness of my parents' home where no love was shown, only bitter words of warning against exactly what Mike was offering me. But he was offering me friendship, partnership, respect, and laughter. And eventually love.
As tears tracked down my face, God’s peace settled over me, deeper than moments before.
He was looking at me with such hope and expectancy. The whole world seemed to be holding its breath.
All I could think about was the moment Grammy showed me her ring and said it was for the woman he would marry. Thepicture I’d conjured up in that moment of him down on one knee, smiling and proposing to another woman, flashed back through my swirling mind.
I inhaled deeply, trying to sort through my warring thoughts. But the visceral pain I’d felt at the thought of him doing that had my heart pounding loudly and my hands trembling. The moment swelled into a loud crescendo in my mind, leaving me to whisper the word I never expected to say.
“Yes.”
The collective gaspfrom the people in the waiting room when I gave Mike my answer made us both startle out of the moment we had been in. I was pretty sure the other people we didn’t know were part of that gasp.
“Yes?” he breathed out, searching my eyes for confirmation, a lone tear tracking down his face. I reached out and wiped it away. For the first time since he walked into the room, his usual joy had returned, his eyes bright, his smile wide.
“Yes.” I nodded and smiled, sniffling as I teared up again. He pulled me back into his strong chest, and I realized that this was what I was saying yes to. His strength. His friendship. His offer to walk beside and make my dreams come true. To give his beloved grandmother something so precious. To see what God could do with this unusual offering we were giving to Him. And the hope of love.
