He knew the moment he told her the truth he would lose it. He was a traitor and without honour. It didn’t matter why he had done it. That was a mere excuse.
He would tell her, and she would do what must be done. She would need to go to the King and tell him who carried the Half-Thistle Seal. She had to protect her family, to protect herself.
He would go to the guillotine. His only hope was that she could protect Robert.
‘You have got me here,’ she said, gesturing around to the shadows. ‘So tell me.’
‘I’m a spy.’
‘You’ve already told me that.’
‘But not this.’
He took her hand and placed the Half-Thistle Seal in it. Watched her hand shake before she clenched it and hid it in her skirts.
He took heart in the fact that she hid it. There was still a part of him that had believed she would loudly proclaim his crime and he would be hauled away before he could give an explanation. He deserved it after his cruel words during the storm.
‘This can’t be,’ she whispered, her eyes darting around.
‘It is.’
She took a breath. ‘Not here, then. Follow me.’
He took comfort in her request, too. As Alice darted around the corner and went up a private staircase. Down a long corridor, her steps ever faster, his own following close. He was trying to quell his heart from gaining any hope. Her wanting privacy only meant that she would listen to him. Nothing more.
They entered a room. He saw a bed, a fire banked low. The room was dark, but he saw the vague outline of soft furnishings without any frills.
‘Your bedroom?’ he whispered.
‘It’s the only place I can guarantee privacy.’
‘But it’s too private. I could kill you here.’
‘You could have killed me without showing me the Seal.’ She turned it in her hands. ‘It’s been yours all this time?’
‘Weren’t you curious when you couldn’t find it? I madesureyou couldn’t find it.’
She shook her head. ‘This makes no sense.’
‘Why? Because of the boy I was when I left here? It’s true that he saw only right and wrong, but so much has happened since then. I told you that you didn’t know me, that the present was full of lies and deceit. This is what I meant. This is why there are barriers between us.’
‘Why would you tell me this?’
‘Because I didn’t want you to keep looking. To keep risking your reputation or being forced to marry Lyman because he’d caught you in a compromising position. Or worse, going empty handed to the King.’
‘You told me to keep me safe?’
‘I also told you I’d help you. Foolishly, I thought I could come up with a plan not to reveal the Seal and also to keep you safe, but I couldn’t.’
‘So you have told me even though you are now...not safe?’
He nodded.
Hugh. A traitor.
She had orders from the King to find this man, to report him. If she did, Hugh would hang.
That was what justice would be. She would be righting a wrong. Except it didn’t feel right. Hugh knew she’d have to report to the King and had told her anyway.
