She pressed her palm against his mouth, his stubble prickling, his lips soft. They both stilled. Perhaps it was too familiar for her to have done so, but touching him like this, as he kept touching her, felt right.
Her eyes warning him, she released her hand. “I love you, too.”
He closed his eyes, and his entire body shuddered. When he lifted those thick lashes, his dark eyes said everything and not enough, so she continued. “I’ve always loved you, will always love you. I’ve loved you longer than you me.”
His hands still at her elbows, anchoring him to her, he said, “Impossible.”
“I had five years, and you eight when you winked at me.” She poked him in the chest. “That means I have spent more years of my life loving you than you have me.”
“I don’t know if your numbers work,” he teased.
“You won’t change my mind on this.”
“I don’t want to. I like the idea of you loving me longer.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe it happened to you, too.”
“Oh, yes, you were the only one…” She couldn’t explain this to anyone but Drystan. “You were the only person in that entire room, in my whole life, who understood.”
“Can you tell me something I’ve always wondered?” His thumbs slid along her inner elbows, distracting her from his words, distracting her from standing properly. For support, she rested her hand on his chest. His clothes were wet, but there was heat underneath, and something else…his heart thumping against her palm. She couldn’t help but do a brush of her own.
His hands stilled, and he looked at her hand, then back at her. If possible, his eyes were darker yet. She felt something along her skin that flushed and prickled. Were they talking?
“That first bite you took,” he said, his voice a rasp she’d never heard before. “Did it burn your mouth? Was your family right in trying to help you?”
That wasn’t the question she expected. “Terribly. For that moment of sweetness, I don’t think I tasted anything properly the entirety of the next day. Didn’t stop me though from doing it again.”
“For which I am forever glad.”
His expression, the light in his eyes… She didn’t notice the mud crusting on him now; she only noticed Drystan. Her Drystan, who loved her. She’d known it, hadn’t she? All the sacrifices he made, all the little gestures he could do for her. The kindnesses he showed, the way he looked at her. He loved her, and she did him.
Thus, for once, she’d do what he had always done. Sacrifice. “If the coin is Galoncryf’s, as heir, I give it to you.”
He released her elbows and stepped back. “I’m not going to take the coin, Elizabeth, and I think I know where that gem belongs. In the dining hall, there’s a tapestry—”
She shook her head violently. “I won’t let you do it again.”
“Do what?”
“You keep saving me. I want to save you this time.”
He closed his eyes again. When he opened them, they were so soft and sure. “All these years to talk to you like this. To tell you of my feelings and not simply show you.”
She felt the same. “Did we waste those years?”
“No. We simply never had fortune favoring us, but we do now. Please let me do this, it’s…tradition.”
“I never should have allowed it.”
“You’re three years younger than me, it was my respon—”
“It wasn’t your responsibility when my father swung that whip!” She wrapped her arms around herself. “I’ll never forgive myself for not stopping him.”
He stepped back again, then forward. Like he wanted away from her distress and needed to hold her again. “It was over before I even knew it started. Your father never punished me again after that.”
“You liar.” She dropped her arms. “I know my father took pay from you when John blamed you for my hitting him. It makes no sense, why would he blame you!”
He gave a quick, self-deprecating smile. “You cannot guess? I think the whole world except your father knows my feelings. Even your mother is sympathetic. She’s kind, your mother.”
She was, and Elizabeth knew this moment didn’t need kindness or anything soft. For this man’s sake, she needed to be brave, firm, and resolved in her decision. “I won’t let you simply hand it over, not to save me. Never again, Drystan.”
