If I really think about it, it was kind of gross, but I couldn’t help but feel happy when Daddy did it. It felt like he truly caredabout me and was willing to do anything to help me get better. It was like we were a lot closer, but him giving me the bottle instead feels as if he’s pulling back.
Tears pool in my eyes, and I quickly shut them and turn my head away from Daddy. I should not be feeling this way. I shouldn’t be letting this affect me so much when I need to stay strong and away from him.
What is going on with me?
“Little Pet, what’s wrong?” Daddy asks again. “Tell Daddy, so he can make it better.”
I open my mouth, but I quickly clamp my hand over it, not wanting to spill the actual words. I need to get myself together and pretend none of this matters to me. That he means nothing. I shouldn’t be getting so close to him.
But when Daddy gently places his hand on my stomach and moves his thumb in a comforting way, I can’t help but let out a little sob.
“Oh, Little Pet, what’s wrong. Tell Daddy so he can make it all better,” he coos at me.
I roll over to my side and wrap my arms around my stomach. I don’t want to look at him, or else I’m afraid that I am going to tell him everything. No. I can’t let that happen. He can’t know it all.
“Nora, tell Daddy so he can make it all better,” he repeats. “I don’t like seeing you like this. Come on, Little One. Tell me.”
I shake my head and keep my eyes closed. Whenever I look at him, I just can’t help but confess to anything he asks me. For some reason, he has a way with me, and I don’t understand it. It doesn’t make any sense that he has this kind of power over me, but he does.
“Nora.” He places his arms under my legs and behind my back, successfully lifting me into his arms. “Talk to Daddy. I’m worried about you. I want to make sure that you are okay.Come on, Little One. Don’t make me worry even more and do something drastic. You were doing so good. What happened?”
“No,” I mumble and keep my eyes closed.
If he tells me to open them, I need to be strong and refuse. If I tell him everything that’s going on through my head, I’m worried he’ll use it against me. Then he can use it against me and everything will go down the drain.
All my hard work.
But I hate the feeling of my heart breaking from all his worry and not being able to settle it. I just want to tell him everything so that he can stop worrying, but I shouldn’t. For all I know, he could be trying to get me to rely on him more so he can do something in the end and hurt me in the worst way possible.
Just the thought of him hurting me and making me suffer hurts my heart even more. I don’t want him to do that. I want him to take care of me and love me. I want him to be there for me and feed me, like he did in the very beginning.
It was so intimate.
But he doesn’t want to do that with me any longer. He decided that when he gave me the bottle with the nipple for me to suckle from. This is just the beginning, and he is going to make me suffer even longer than before by making me trust him, and then, when I least expect it, disappoint me or send me back to the space station when I can no longer do things myself.
Even more tears run down my face at the thought.
“Oh, Little Pet,” he whispers, moving my body so my chest is flush against his. “Just let it all out. You’re okay. Everything is going to be okay. Just cry and hold onto me. I’m here for you.”
And that’s what I do. I cry into his arms, letting everything out.
“I don’t know what has made you upset like this, but it’s all going to work out in the end. Everything is going to be okay. I promise I’m going to take care of you for the rest of our lives. Youare never going to want anything,” he says. “I’m going to be here for you, no matter what. If you are feeling angry, I’ll be here to help you talk about why. If you are sad, then I’ll be here to hold you tightly.”
I sob and push my face into his chest even more. Why can’t he just be horrible to me so that my heart won’t feel like this? That is how all of us have imagined the Venkorians by not knowing anything, and he is proving everything wrong. I won’t be prepared for him to be horrible to me later down the line if he is treating me like this in the beginning.
“Little One?” Daddy gently questions. “Everything is going to be okay. I’m right here for you.”
I grip onto his shirt and take a deep breath in, my tears slowing.
“Let’s get you fed.” He moves my body so I’m lying on my back, my head in the crook of his arm.
Daddy holds the bottle and places the nipple in my mouth. Tears run down my cheek once more as I start suckling. I guess this is my reality now. He doesn’t want to be intimate with me anymore. He doesn’t want to do anything with me.
“What’s wrong, Little Pet?” he asks, looking down at me with worry.
Is it fake concern, or is he really worried about me? How do I tell him what is wrong with me so he understands and will do something about it?
No.
