Gone.
I’d have to start from the beginning again.
And no one would want to take me on.
Shame and hurt washed over me again as I remembered David’s words.Emerson, it’s not a good idea for you to continue working here.
Six years I’d been with that company, helping them grow it from the small L.A. studio, and after everything I’d done for them, they’d cut me loose without a second thought.
Fuckers.
I felt weary through to my marrow, the stress and exhaustion from the last forty-eight hours catching up.
And as much as I’d shouted at them, I knew it wasn’t the boys’ fault, even if they did say some fucking stupid things sometimes.
I rolled my eyes.
And if anyone was to blame, it was me. They were just collateral damage to the bitterness and resentment of a jealous ex-boyfriend, one that I should have dealt with sooner and better. They didn’t ask for this any more than I did.
And they were still trying to fix it.
Is this what our life would be like - firefighting against a maelstrom of gossip and funding clickbait?
I reached the lighthouse and turned around, tracing my steps back along the beach to where I’d started. I could still see my footprints on the compacted sand. All of them. I’d been walking up and down this stretch for the past three hours.
Just walking.
And kicking.
When I’d stormed out of the house and jumped in the car, I didn’t even realize where I was going until I got here. Didn’t realize I even knew the way.
But I guess this place had cemented itself in my heart as much as Drew had.
I thought back to that day nearly two months ago, the day I knew I’d fallen in love with him. When I knew I couldn’t picture my life without him.
The day I fully understood the extent of how much he’d been with me since we met in Vegas, and not just when he found me again.
Because looking back to the past year, even when I was with Richard, I knew I’d just been going through the motions of day-to-day life, followed by the wash, rinse, repeat of singledom, dating but never really making the effort to find a connection. I could put it down to not wanting to jump back into a relationship, but it would be a lie. Really, I’d been waiting for him.
I just hadn’t known it at the time.
I watched the clouds rolling in across the water, thick and dark and ominous. A small panic curled around my bones as it dawned on me that no one actually knew where I was. Drew would probably be going nuts, if he hadn’t sent a search party already. I half expected the Coastguard to appear through the storm.
Because I hadn’t been humiliated enough.
A tiny laugh pushed through the tears at the thought of how crazy he’d be making everyone while he tried to find me, because I knew he wouldn’t rest until I came home. I shouldn’t find it funny, but I did. And I started laughing loudly, the grip around my heart easing. It was the first time I’d felt happy since this shit had started.
Because of him.
I don’t think I’d ever felt so loved by one person, made to feel the way Drew made me feel on a daily basis.
He was my best friend. My person. The one I wanted to see at the beginning and end of every day. And if I had to go through a shit-storm, I didn’t want to do it with anyone else.
And all I wanted was to be in his arms.
Because that’s where I belonged.
I reached the lighthouse for the last time and turned. It was time to go back home.
