No.
It had been great.
Perfect, even.
My best work.
And once his knee was fixed, he should, with rehab, make a full recovery. He was fit and healthy, and his bones were strong. He’d bounce back quicker than most people.
So why did it feel like my ribs were crushing my organs, my lungs tight, my heart heavy?
Hunter turned the faucet on and started soaping up next to me. “It was a good surgery, you did an excellent job.”
I started on my other hand. “Thank you.”
“We’ll fix his knee.”
“I know.”
He turned to me. “He’ll play again. We’ll get him back for next season.”
“I know.”
He grabbed my shoulders, covering me in soap as he spun me round to face him. “Molly, snap out of it, for fuck’s sake.”
I looked up at him, his eyes searching and open with frustration.
I sighed deeply and heavily. “I know. I do know. It’s just…”
“Yeah, it’s hard working on a friend, that’s why you’re not supposed to do it,” he pointedly arched a brow at me, “but you’re good. This was an excellent surgery and you did an amazing job, so snap out of this mood you’re in, because it’s not you. You’re a surgeon; act like one.”
He started washing his hands again, and I waited while he rinsed and dried before heading out of the operating suites to the nurses’ station. A few were gathered around the desk as we walked over. I didn’t miss the younger nurses smoothing their hair down when they clocked Hunter.
“He’s super weird and slimy.”
I looked at them all, putting Felix’s paperwork on the counter. “Who is?”
“Oh, some resident that’s covering from Mercy this week.” Betty picked up the charts I’d left. “Doctor Marks, Felix Cleverly’s teammates are in Waiting Room Four.”
“Great, thank you. Hunter?” I waited for him to stop what he was doing. “You want to come and tell the boys the news?”
Excitement flashed in his eyes before he could stop it, his cool composure slipping for a nanosecond. “Sure, why not.”
Ipushed Felix’s door open, the lights were dimmed down, the flashing of the heart monitor illuminating the room. He was fast asleep, breathing softly, his arm outstretched to stop the IV tubes getting tangled up. I walked over and switched the volume off, silence descending over the room, bringing an overwhelming sense of tiredness with it. In my years of training I’d learned to survive without sleep, grabbing it whenever I could, but I couldn’t remember a time I’d felt more tired than I did right now, my body sucked dry of any trace of adrenaline to push it through. I pulled a chair up to his bed, watching him, watching his chest rise and fall. I subconsciously started fiddling with my necklace, sliding the charm back and forth as my eyes started drooping, mesmerized by his breathing. I tried to keep them open as long as I could, but it became impossible.
I woke to the sensation of fingers running through my hair, my head on the bed, resting on my arms.
I must have fallen forward.
What time was it?
How long had I been here?
“Molly?” Fingertips brushed over my forehead and I sat up with a jerk. Felix’s eyes were open and looking down on me.
“Hey,” I stood up, holding his wrist and checking his pulse, “Can I get you anything?”
“Just water,” he croaked.
