Ilet my phone ring out for the dozenth time as I got into my cold, empty bed.
Was it petty? Possibly. But I wasn’t ready to talk to her.
If this relationship was going to work, we needed balance everywhere. And that included her learning to apologize and mean it.
But really, this was just a waiting game.
A game where the only player was me.
Because it was simply a matter of time before I broke down. Broke down and begged her to take me back.
Chapter 40
Ilet out a deep breath, which misted up the windows and I wiped them clear.
“Life’s so easy for babies. No pressure. The only thing they have to worry about is their next poop and whether they’re getting the boob or the bottle.”
I didn’t face Brooke, who’d sidled up so silently I had no idea how long she’d been standing there. “Yep.”
I was also not entirely sure how long I’d been standing here.
“So, which one are you going to take?”
I looked at her in confusion and she nodded at the room of sleeping babies. “Which one?”
“That one.” I pointed over to a fat, wriggly baby in the corner, wearing a blue striped hat, just as my pager went off.
“Ooh, saved from committing a felony just in time.”
I rolled my eyes at her, and then noticed the pager code – 468 – and my heartbeat quickened. That code meant I had a visitor. I took off in a run to the elevators, each stride I was just praying that it would be Felix. It had to be him. I wasn’t expecting anyone and my parents weren’t in town, so it wouldn’t be my mom dropping by unexpectedly either.
It had been two days since he’d walked out of my office and my life had crumbled around me, and in the rubble, all that was left was a crushing emptiness which consumed every minute of every hour. Where I’d normally have been able to zone into my surgeries, I’d found it virtually impossible to concentrate on anything I was doing. Which wasn’t ideal. I also had my interview coming up and I really needed to focus on that, but every time I started reading, my mind drifted to Felix and the tears would start up again, making it both hard to see and pay attention when I had to blow my runny nose every two minutes.
I’d never seen him so angry.
In all our years of friendship, he’d never been as angry as he’d been two days ago, and I’d never been on the receiving end of it. And to make it worse, he wasn’t taking my calls, reminding me how I’d done the same to him when he’d first kissed me. Because if he’d felt then like I felt now? Well, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
However, he’d made it clear he didn’t want me to say sorry, but I didn’t know how else I’d get his forgiveness. So I was stuck. Miserable and stuck, without a solution in sight.
The elevator doors opened and I continued running, across the walkway into the other side of the hospital where my office was, and burst through the doors. But it wasn’t Felix waiting there, and my heart sank as I caught my breath.
“What are you doing here?
“Well, you look like shit.”
My chin started trembling, because the onslaught of tears was never far away.
“Hey, I was only joking. Sort of.” Cooper enveloped me in a one-armed hug, trying not to squash a sleeping Sam as he did. “Come and sit down.”
He closed the door behind me as I plopped down on the couch with a sob. “I thought you were Felix. When they paged me I thought you were going to be Felix, that he’d decided to forgive me.”
“Here.” He handed Sam to me, settling him in my arms and he barely stirred. My lungs filled with his intoxicating baby smell and I watched his little face snuffling, his tiny button nose and pouty mouth quivering slightly as he breathed. My chest relaxed with his, my heart rate lowered and I felt instantly calmer.
“I brought you a coffee too.” He slid it across the table to me.
“Thank you.”
Cooper sat across from me, his face turning stern and locking on mine. “Mol, Felix isn’t going to come to you.”
