“Fine. Totally fine. Just processing.”
“Would you like to come inside?”
“Yes. No. I’m not sure. I think I might throw up. Or pass out. Maybe Druim’s arm is better than I thought and he accidentally knocked me unconscious and I’m actually on the floor in Miles’ house dreaming.”
“You dream of me often?”
“What?”
“You think you’re dreaming about me right now.”
“That’s not… I’m… fucking hell, Ghenie, don’t tease a man while he’s having a crisis!”
I let out a long breath, rubbing my face. I ignore the way my gasps are shaky and shallow. When I finally open my eyes again, Ghenie is still there, watching me carefully.
“I know this must be too much.”
“It’s not too much,” I say right away. “I’m sorry, my reaction is probably shit. It’s a lot, but it’s not too much, Ghenie, I promise.”
“Okay,” he says slowly. Then he takes a step back, opening the door wider for me. All at once, I’m back to a year ago. I’m back to when he let me in, when we gave ourselves to each other fully only for me to leave in the morning before he was awake.
I thought it would be easier that way. It wasn’t. It sucked and we were both left brokenhearted because of my actions.
In that moment, I make a promise to myself that everything will be different now. We’re both the same people but I can choose a different path. I can choose Ghenie. I can choose Maribel. I want this. I want them. I’ve put in the blood, sweat, and tears to change myself, to heal those past hurts that causedme to lash out. Do I still want to run? Hell fucking yes, I do. Will I? Not this time.
My parents left at every opportunity. Like hell am I going to do the same thing to my child. I’ve known about her existence for like a second and already I know I will devote all of my time and effort to her. I will be better than my parents before me. Nothing could keep me from her.
Stepping inside the house, I look around. Most things are the same but Ghenie has made this place his own while I was gone. Turning towards him, I give him a soft smile.
“It’s really good to be home.”
Chapter Five
Ghenie
I feel as though my head has unattached itself from my shoulders and drifted into the sky. Christian is here. Not only back on this planet but he’s here, in the home I’ve made my own. He keeps looking at Maribel, flashes of emotions playing across his features.
I so desperately wish I knew what he was thinking. I wish I knew what was going on inside his head. I can feel the emotions of every person on this planet and the one I actively want to feel is the one I can’t. I could push into his mind, but I would never do that without his consent. I’ll have to be patient for him to tell me.
We step over into the living room. Christian tentatively sits down and I find myself hovering. I clear my throat and Christian flinches. There’s tension in the air and I wrack my brain, trying to find a way to bridge this gap between us.
“Would you like to hold her?”
Christian’s head snaps up, his eyes landing on Maribel. His eyes are soft and filled with longing. He holds out his hands and nods his head.
My heart is galloping inside my chest as I pass our daughter over. Christian cradles her carefully. He lays her across his lap, her head against his knees. He folds the blanket down so he can look at her face. I have dreamed of this moment for months, thought about what it would be like to have Christian back, to have him embrace his new family.
“Wow,” Christian says, just barely above a whisper. “She’s beautiful, Ghenie.” He runs his thumb over her cheek and she leans against his palm, giving him a sleepy little smile. Just like that, I know he’s fallen in love. How can you not when she’s so perfect?
Seeing the two of them together like this is making my heart feel like it’s growing too large, like it might burst from my rib cage. Affection so strong it threatens to bring me to my knees washes over me. This is all too much, yet, it’s everything I’ve been dreaming of at the same time.
“I hope her name is alright. There was no way to consult you, and for that I am sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Christian says right away, his eyes never leaving Maribel’s face. “It’s not your fault. I was the one who ran away.”
“You did what you felt necessary at the time.”
“I did,” Christian says slowly. He finally looks up at me. “I’m sorry for leaving you. It was good that I left. It changed me. But I’m still sorry you had to do this alone. I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you when you needed me.”
