“I wouldn’t want to impose. I can go back into town and find a new place to stay.”
“This is your home. You can stay for as long as you’d like.”
Christian thinks about it for a moment before he finally nods. “Okay, but I’m staying on the couch. You keep the bed.”
“If that’s what will make you comfortable.”
I stand up and walk into the kitchen. As I prepare dinner, I keep looking back into the living room, watching Christian and Maribel together. I didn’t think joy like this was possible. Wehave a ways to go and many things to speak through, but for now, it means so much to me that Christian is here. He’s willing to have those conversations, he’s willing to see where this will go.
I send up a quick prayer to the Ancestors, thanking them for bringing Christian back to me. Then I do my best to focus on making us a meal that won’t be burnt due to my wandering mind.
Chapter Six
Christian ~About Two Years Ago~
Miles tells me that running can be really good not only for a person’s heart and body, but also for their mind. Apparently, a lot of runners find a sort of euphoria when they run and they’re able to clear their minds.
I’m calling bullshit on this bullshit.
I’m practically wheezing as I go, just barely keeping my legs moving. Sweat pours down the side of my face and my shirt is almost completely soaked. I keep to the outskirts of town, heading in the direction of the water.
The plan is to either throw myself into the water to cool myself down or if I’m feeling especially dramatic, maybe I’ll just drown. That would put an end to my suffering at least.
The air starts to cool the closer I get to the water. Once the smell of salt hits my nose, I slow down, going from a jog into a brisk walk. I suck in as much air as I can, trying to get my lungs to stop burning.
I realize way too late that as my feet hit the sand, I’m not alone. There’s a figure sitting in the sand, staring out across the water. Their back is to me but I would recognize this person anywhere.
Ghenie’s long, platinum hair is braided down his back in a very pretty, intricate design. His shoulders slump forward and he rests his face against his hands. For a moment, worry rises up inside of me but I quickly push it back down. Ghenie doesn’t care if I worry about him. He has so much going on, why the fuck would he care what I’m feeling?
“I didn’t picture you as the type of guy to bury his toes in the sand,” I say, taking off my shoes and socks so I can walk in the sand. It’s not a lie. Ghenie seems like he’s always working, whether it's talking to his people, planning events, or negotiating with other planets. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do somethingfunthat was just for him.
Ghenie’s body goes rigid before he’s looking over his shoulder at me. My stomach sinks as I see his bloodshot eyes and lines of tears drying on his cheeks.
“Umm. Shit. I can go if you’d like.”
“It is a public beach,” he says stiffly. “You are free to stay if you’d like.”
It sounds like he’s giving me permission to be here which really rubs me the wrong way. What is it about Ghenie that always drives me up the wall? He could tell me the color of the sky and I’d still look up to double check he wasn’t pulling a fast one on me.
I flop down in the sand beside him, looking out across the water with him. I’m still sweaty as fuck and probably smell awful but I don’t really give a shit. Why would I want to impress Ghenie?
“What’s wrong?”
“It is nothing,” he says right away, completely lying through his pretty white teeth. “It is the burden that comes with beingToralleh.”
I snort. And then I immediately feel bad for snorting. Jesus, I really am an asshole, aren’t I? “Speak to me in terms I would understand. What’s so bad about being the leader?”
“You would not understand.”
I grit my teeth. “Try me. I’m more than just a dumbass human. I also have a very pretty face.”
Ghenie swivels his head and looks over at me, his bloodshot eyes narrowing. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so unamused by my antics. That only serves to make me want to poke him more.
“The voices,” he finally says. “They’re loud and overbearing and I cannot stop them from shouting. They are persistent and angry and I amoverwhelmed,” he says, his voice catching on the last word. “I would like a break, just to exist, just for a moment.”
“The voices?”
“Yes, Christian. The voices of our Ancestors. They live on through me and someday, they will live on through the nextToralleh. Over and over and over, a cycle that has never been broken since it began. A living vessel who embodies the Ancestors, their wishes, and leads our people through them.” Ghenie buries his face in his hands. “It is an endless, thankless job.”
