Because for Cece, I’ll be every version of myself that knows how to love her.
THIRTY-TWO
Cece
“…she okay?”
I hear a voice humming, muffled and distant. But I can’t seem to force my eyes open. My lids still burn from the memory of those flashing lights at the club.
Levi’s hands surround me when I stir slightly, and I focus on keeping my breathing even.
I still don’t understand how his anger vanished so quickly, within seconds of reaching me. I thought he’d drag me out of that club, hiding our faces while he was at it.
But none of that happened.
Instead, he followed me straight into the insanity that had possessed me.
The worst part is that the day had actually started off well. For once, I’d gone into the Wentworth office instead of hiding at home. For once, I’d sat behind my desk and pretended I was still capable of functioninglike a normal person.
But then my eyes started darting toward the mini fridge I kept in my office for stocking champagne and some other drinks.
Before long, I had a glass filled with Baileys while no one questioned the creamy coffee-like drink in my hand.
It wasn’t until I was off the call with someone I had not talked to in years that I realized how much of a mess I’d become. Somewhere between one spreadsheet and the next, I made the mistake of calling people I hadn’t spoken to in years.
It started with Derek.
When he didn’t answer, I called Sebastian.
Sebastian at least entertained me for a few minutes. He listened to my awkward questions and half-hearted attempts at conversation before apologizing and cutting the call short. His wife, Inez, was on active duty, and I’d recently learned that he never left his NYPD cop wife alone during those days of operation.
After that, I called Sienna.
God.
Even thinking about it makes my stomach twist.
Sienna, for her part, was cordial. I was sure that receiving a call on a random weekday from me after years of silence must’ve been shocking to her. She was one of those Harvard friends I’d pushed away during my two years as a hermit.
She ooh-ed and ahh-ed in all the right places and asked enough questions to keep the conversation moving. But the connection we’d once shared was gone.
I knew it.
She knew it.
Hell, I hadn’t even thought about her in years, and here I was, calling her like a manic, pathetic woman. Probably giving her the impression that I couldn’t leave my Harvard heyday behind.
That was the moment that triggered my entire nervous system.
I didn’t wait after that. I drove to the nearest hair extensions and wigs studio, got myself a flimsy disguise, went to Levi’s penthouse to change, and then drove all the way back to Gastown.
But the second Levi and I left that sleazy nightclub, I could feel the pharisaical noose around my neck leashing me back into place.
Which is why the silence that took over me was heavier this time. Because I couldn’t see the end of it anymore.
Levi was happy.Irrationallyhappy about this random detour our lives took tonight.
I wasn’t.
