I listened to all the other women, all their pain, and tried to forget what I had done. Not because I was ashamed, but because if I spoke up too loudly, or too quickly, I would go on tirades about how much I hated men like David. How angry I was that they got to go on living while so many of these women had to leave their lives, even their voices, behind.
And I would end up telling the truth.
I’d killed a man, and I wanted to kill so many more.
So far, I had gotten away with it.
Then Light Up Night came around.
Most towns held their Light Up Night in early- to mid-November. We were almost halfway into December now and tonight would be the first night we lit the tree.
Over the last month, everyone chipped in hanging lights, tinsel, and wreaths. Each door down Second Street was wrapped in some variation of wrapping paper, all featuring a big red, green, silver, or golden bow in the center. Nearly every inch of the café and rec center were covered in twinkling golden lights.
Christmas music pulsed from speakers in the corners. Fold-up tables covered in snowflake or Christmas present cloths lined both sides of the road, stretching from the garage at the end of the street to the fifteen-foot-tall pine tree just outside the rec center doors. Each were filled with cookies or hot chocolate or games.
Looking around at it all had my heart fluttering. No one could call me a grinch, but I had never been all that excited over holidays. But maybe that was because I had no one to be excited with.
Now, Simone had her forearm tucked between mine. Delilah walked beside her. Sebastian curled his fingers into my other hand. Lizzie and Junie had been walking alongside us, until they caught sight of the spinning wheel game by the cafeteria. Now, the two of them were standing in line while we scoped out the cookie table a dozen feet from the rec center doors.
I didn’t want this day to end.
“God, she is so sweet with her.” Simone gestured to Lizzie, squatting to say something to Junie that had them both laughing. “If she ever wants to make some extra cash babysitting, you’ve got my number.”
“Don’t you have, like, a thousand babysitters around here?” Sebastian arched a brow at her. “There’s a whole daycare down the street.”
Simone covered her mouth to keep the thumb drop cookie crumbs inside. “When I was Lizzie’s age, I liked babysitting. It taught me a lot of life skills. And the cash wasn’t bad either.”
“I don’t know if I would call child-rearing a life skill,” Sebastian said, “and I don’t know if it’s one I particularly want her learning. I’ll be happy if she remains child-free her entire life. But babysitting Junie is a lot safer than working at a fast-food chain, so that’s alright by me. You pass it along to her though.”
“Speaking of children,” I said to Delilah, “how are you liking the new job?”
A smile stretched across her bright red lips. Her full cheeks scrunched up into her eyes, obscuring the pretty brown shadows and mascara she had surely worked hard on. “Oh my God, I love it.”
A couple weeks ago, Delilah had spoken to Rhiannon about what sort of job she could take on at the ranch. They’d decided the daycare was a good fit. She’d agreed to take any shift, doing any duties.
“I’ve always loved kids,” she said, “but I can’t even describe it. Being around so many of them, playing games all day—I just love it so much. My dream job is being a preschool or daycare teacher full-time. I really think that’s the path I want to go.”
“Aw,” Simone said, dabbing at cookie crumbs along her smiling lips.
There weren’t enough words in the English language to describe how beautiful and wondrous it was when all the work at the ranch paid off. A young girl had a life, a real, marvelous life, ahead of her because she’d chosen to start over.
I snatched one of the Russian tea cookies I had brought for the festival. “Have you talked to anyone about how that would work? Getting started in college, I mean.”
“Yeah, one of the girls at the nursery explained it to me. I have a meeting with Colleen next week and she’ll get me started with a counselor at a local college. I might even be able to do it online.”
“That’s convenient,” Simone said. “My schooling was all hands-on. It was a bitch driving all the way to the closest beauty school.”
“I bet,” Delilah said. “Part of me wants the whole college experience, but I think I’ll be okay with just the degree.”
“The college experience isn’t all it’s cracked up to be anyway.” Sebastian sipped his hot cocoa and smacked his lips. “I enjoyed it, and I’m grateful for it, but the degree is what you’re really after.”
“Seabass!” Lizzie called, barely visible on the other side of Main Street through all the bustling heads. “Come here!”
A heavy sigh lifted and softened his shoulders. Despite the drama, the hint of a smile told me he wasn’t all that mad. “Duty calls.”
He pecked my cheek before weaseling into the crowd.
“I can’t.” Simone shook her head, smiling as her eyes flicked between me and him. “I can’t with how cute you guys are.”
