“Yeah, kinda tastes like a pudding.”
“Maybe that?” I didn’t want to get blackout drunk, but it did sound really nice. And my sweet tooth was intrigued.
“Cool. Stay there, and I’ll get you one.”
I nodded and looked around the room again, half tempted to pull out my phone to see if Owen had messaged me. But if he hadn’t, I’d be devastated, and if he had, I’d probably feel worse. Because I didn’t think there was anything he could say that would make this any better.
I turned the idea over in my mind while Milo pottered around in the kitchen, and in the end, I gave in. My heart thundered as I slid my phone out of my pocket, bile rising in my throat. My hands felt clammy, and I could have sworn I was sweating.
There was nothing from him though.
Only a couple of notifications from the Lick It! Instagram.
“Don’t do that,” Milo said as he appeared beside me and held out a short, round glass filled with a deep amber drink, a large, round ice cube bobbing in the middle.
“I was just…” I trailed off with a sigh, spinning my phone slowly in my hand before putting it on the arm of the sofa so I could take the glass.
“I know, and I’m telling you, don’t. You’ll only make yourself feel worse. And then you’ll be up for hours, staring at it, hoping you’ll get something and feeling shittier and shittier when nothing happens.”
“What do I do then?”
“Turn it off. At least for tonight,” he said as he sat down beside me. “It can be a problem for tomorrow.”
“I don’t think that’ll make a difference. I still won’t know what to say. I don’t even know what I want.”
“You don’t have to. It’s okay not to know.”
I hummed, unsure if that was helpful or not. I took a slow sip of my drink as I turned over everything in my mind, trying to untangle my thoughts and emotions from the reality of the situation. The cocktail was cold and sweet, but not overly so. And like Milo had said, it reminded me of a winter pudding.
It was very drinkable too, the juice and the flavour of the vodka disguising the alcohol. The sort of thing I’d happily drink a lot of very quickly.
There was a buzz from the outside door and I frowned, looking across at Milo in confusion. “Who…?”
“Alfie,” he said. “He made good time too. I hope he didn’t run. He said he’d bring food too.”
He stood and went back to the door, opening it and leaning through to unlock the outside door. “Right on time. Jesus, where the fuck did you get that?”
“Jonathan made it. We were going to put the rest in the freezer, but since you haven’t eaten,” Alfie said as Milo stepped back to let him in, and I tilted my head to see what it was. He was holding a large, deep purple dish with foil over the top which must have been a pain to carry all the way down the hill from Jonathan’s house. Especially if it was still warm.
But that was just who Alfie was—deeply selfless when it came to people he loved.
“I have, but fuck it, I’ll eat again,” Milo said. “It smells amazing.”
It really did, and my stomach rumbled loudly. I put my hand across it, hoping to muffle the sound. I hadn’t thought I was hungry but now I’d smelt food, I really wanted some. I felt a pang of guilt too because Owen’s dad had clearly worked hard on dinner and I’d ruined it.
Hopefully I’d get to apologise at some point.
“Hey,” Alfie said, shooting me a kind smile as he held out the dish. “I brought lasagne. I don’t know if it will help, but you should eat something.”
“Thanks,” I said as I tried to return his smile. But all that happened was my lip wobbled.
“Give me that, I’ll put it on to reheat. You go and sit down,” Milo said as he took the dish off Alfie. “Do you want a drink? I’ve got some Diet Coke.”
“Sound great, thanks,” Alfie said. He stepped out of his trainers and walked over to me, his curls slightly windswept from the evening breeze. He was wearing his customary Sword & Flame hoodie, and I buried my head in his shoulder as he pulled me in for a hug. “I’m so sorry, Darcy. I really am.”
“It’s okay. I knew it was going to happen. Just… doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
“I know.” He rubbed my back soothingly before gently letting me go. I took another long sip of my drink as Milo appeared with a glass of Diet Coke for Alfie, and a refill for himself. I held out my glass, silently asking for more but he shook his head.
