But doubt tugged at me. My phone buzzed.
Fiona
Carlos said things didn’t go well. I’m sorry. Can we buy lab time for you? Do they make co-working labs like they do co-working spaces?
There she went, wanting to fix problems with money.
Who was I kidding, most problems could be fixed with money.
But I was the alpha. I had to figure out my own shit. I had to take care of people. If I couldn't, what business did I even have being in a relationship?
Fiona
Any word on the grant?
Me
Not yet.
Fiona
Would you like me to make a roasted chicken for dinner? I found a recipe.
Me
I have to go to the Circle and talk to my mentor, grab stuff for Grace, and get my clothes. I won’t be back until tomorrow.
Fiona
Oh. Okay. Yeah, he’ll have ideas. We’ll figure it out. Love you.
I stared at that. Did she though? What was even loveable about me?
The older sibling group chat lit up, but I ignored it.
No, there was nothing lovable about me at all.
My phone rang–Fiona–as worry and comfort came through the bond. I ignored it and turned off my phone. Balling up my coat, I used it as a pillow, and closed my eyes, trying to shut them out.
I didn’t deserve them.
I didn’t deserve anything.
Chapter Fifty-Four
Hale
“Do you feel better now?” Professor Clemson asked as we sat in his neighbors’ open garage, drinking beers and holding the puppies, as the kids played under the streetlights, unbothered by the cool evening.
“Yeah, I feel much better, thanks. I let the parents in my head, and things not working out just doesn’t help,” I confessed.
He was a younger professor and had only arrived at Briar my first year as a student. When Mom got arrested, a lot of people gave me shit. He’d asked me how I was doing and invited me to a study group he was running.
When Dad left suddenly and I was scrambling for tuition, he’d convinced the department to increase my scholarship and helped me get work study. He always made the effort to include me on things.
“You’ve got this, you really do,” he encouraged. “Lots of people balance a new pack with a PhD and even kids. Also, it’s okay to let your famous mates support you for a semester or two. Once you make some sort of massive discovery and sell it to your sister, you can buy them a boat as a thank you.”
I laughed. “Or an island.”
