The seven-year-old perks up, dashing out of the room.
As we sit on the floor in the living room, one child on each side of me, and Jocelyn in my lap, an image of Holden with a toddler in his arms hits me so hard it knocks the air from my lungs.
Woah.Where did that come from?
Would Holden even want that? I can’t recall him ever saying he wanted kids, and after his comments lately about the kids atwork… who knows.Why am I even considering it, anyway?I’m not sure what we’re going to become.
I show the kids another trick with the yo-yo, earning a surprised laugh from Jocelyn.
“Where’d you learn this?” she asks.
I do the trick again. “Your grandpa taught me when I was your age,” I say. “He used to carry a yo-yo with him at work. Did you know that?”
Macy seems stunned.
“He said it helped him think through some of his tougher cases.”
Macy’s interest in the toy intensifies. She wants to follow in her grandfather’s footsteps and become a doctor.
After a few minutes, she asks, “Korie, why do you wear makeup?”
I smile at her. “Because I want to. Do I need another reason?”
She thinks about it, then shakes her head. “Lily at school said it’s weird for boys to wear makeup.”
I flinch. “Well, I think it’s weird for everyone to be the same. Don’t you?”
She scoots closer to me. “I thinkeveryoneis weird, so it’s kind of a moo point anyway.”
Trista chuckles. “Moot point, honey. Moot. With a T. But good use of the phrase.”
I tickle her stomach. “I’m impressed you even know it. You must be smarter than me.”
Macy agrees.
Once the kids are herded off for evening baths, Trista hands me a wine cooler and tips her head toward the back door. “Come on.”
We settle onto the patio swing, our feet tucked under us. The late evening air wraps around me just as it had last week at the play. The memory makes me smile into my hand.
“That’s the third or fourth time you’ve tried to hide a smile from me,” my sister says. “Anything I should know?”
I avoid looking at her, taking a long sip of my drink. “Nope.”
“Nope as inno, there’s nothing, or nope as inI don’t want to talk about it yet.”
I can’t contain another smile even when I try. But I don’t answer.
My older sister nudges me. “Fine. I won’t pry. But just know you’re not as sly as you think you are.”
“Maybe you’re just seeing things.”
“Oh, I’m definitely seeing things.” Her voice lowers. “And whatever it is, I like it.”
That gets my attention. I turn to her, and the warmth in her expression beckons me to open up. I almost say it. The words sit right there, ready to spill.
Holden and I might be dating. We kissed. He’s giving me butterflies. Everything is shifting so fast that I still haven’t caught up.
That part makes my chest tighten. I haven’t seen him since the second date to know if it was all real or if we were just caught up in the adrenaline. But would we stay up late talking on the phone every night otherwise?
