Either way, I can’t tell Trista. She knows Holden. Hell, my whole family does. Telling her would open a can of worms I wouldn’t be able to close.
Besides, I’m a little afraid of what she might say. Would she judge me? Call me crazy? Or would she support me like she has in every other adventure in my life?
I’m not sure which way I want her to push me.
Trista squeezes my shoulder before getting up to water her plants. When she’s a safe distance away, I check my phone. No new messages. Fuck, I came here to distract myself from Holden and clearly it isn’t working. I miss him.
Finally, I get to my feet and go to my sister. “I better go. But call me the next time you’re in town.”
Trista hugs me tight. “You know I will.”
In my car, I send Holden a picture from the view from my sister’s front yard.
Me:Think we could ever live somewhere with a view like this?
I realize how it sounds after I hit send, and my heart jumps into my throat. I shouldn’t imply we have a future when we haven’t even talked about things yet. I’m not sure this is what he wants—or even whatIwant.
But the dream plants roots, anyway.
It’s all I can think about on the drive home—Holden and I in a nice house with a few kids and a couple of dogs, laughing on a front porch with empty takeout containers at our feet. It’s so vivid and real that my heart aches for it.
I didn’t think I was ready to date again. But ever since the play—since The Gravis Garage, really—I can’t seem to shake the pull I feel toward Holden, and worse? Since he kissed me, I can’t seem to see us the way we were before. It’s unsettling.
An hour later, when I’m out of the car and walking on a sidewalk, I pause and blink up at the gray siding.
“How—oh my God,” I laugh to myself.
I look up at the window of Holden’s second-story apartment. How did I even get here? Am I that desperate to see him again that I drove here without realizing it?
Just as I am about to get into my car to leave, Holden’s black sedan swings into his reserved spot directly next to my car.
Our gazes lock through his windshield, and heat rushes up my neck instantly. I can’t read his expression in the dark—but I don’t need to.
Holden is out of his car so fast, grinning from ear to ear as he pulls me in for a tight hug. “What are you doing here?”
I was just asking myself the same thing.“Just… you know. Thought I’d say hi.”
His earthy scent, along with the smell of chalk and musk, is addicting. My arms slide up his back. It would be so easy to turn and kiss him… and I want to.Does he?
I pull back, needing to see his face, but Holden chases me, kissing me softly. Heat and joy and something like relief rushes through me. I lean into him, kissing back. Holden groans softly, pulling me tighter against him.
I’m breathless when he finally lets go.
Holden smiles at me, then pulls me toward his front door. “You hungry?”
“I ate at Trista’s.”
He seems surprised. “You went to your sister’s?”
I shrug, hoping not to reveal too much. “Just for a few hours. It was nice. Taught the kids more yo-yo tricks.”
Inside, he kicks off his shoes by the door and tosses his keys on the table, then pulls his shirt over his head as he walks to his room to change. I force myself to turn away, set my bag on the table, and lean against the back of his couch. When he comes out a few minutes later, Holden is still smiling.
He makes himself a sandwich then grabs us some drinks before we sit down, and his hand immediately lands on my knee. I lean into him, sliding my arm under his.
Holden’s eyes are soft, his touch gentle. “Admit it. You got tired of talking on the phone, didn’t you? Had to see me?”
I elbow him in the ribs. “Don’t get cocky.”
