He shrugs. “Not really, no.”
Raze lies down on the grass. “He’s right, though. You need to actually do something fun, chill out, clear your head. You can’t force creativity, boss.”
I’ve told him a hundred times to stop calling me that.
“I’m not your boss anymore,” I remind him.
His eyes are closed as the sun hits his face, but he opens one to squint over at me before closing it again with a smile on his face.
“You’re slowly becoming just as infuriating as them, you know that?”
His smile widens, but he says nothing.
“Look,” Bash pipes up, leaning against a nearby tree. “We know you miss her. It’s obvious. But trying to work yourself down to the bone isn’t going to help that. Ask my brother.”
I squint up at Gus who’s standing beside me, looking out at the concrete foundation that will become my home. “He’s right.”
I shake my head and look down at the beer in my hands. After a while, I say, “I miss her.”
The boys all look at me, I can feel the weight of their stares.
“We know,” Sam says. “But you don’t need to worry. Until she’s got herself, we’ve got her, too.”
That’s something, I guess.
ChapterThirty-Four
OAKLEIGH
Another day, another twenty-four hours not knowing what the hell I’m doing.
My mind is…distracted. I should be starting book two, figuring out the plot and developing new character arcs, but no. Instead, I’m snuggled on the couch with Ollie, staring blankly at the TV, which stopped playing the show I was watching ages ago.
Today is the first day in a while that I’ve had to properly take into account my feelings. It’s been so hectic the past month, that I feel as if I haven’t even sat down for a second. I’m already getting emails about a book tour. Janelle keeps assuring me that things will calm down but deep down, I don’t really want them to. I don’t want to think about how I haven’t spoken to my best friend in a month, or to the man I love. I miss them both and each day that passes, I feel them slip further and further out of reach.
I told myself I couldn’t be with Finn because he’d either end up being a bad apple himself, or I’d end up turning him into one. I had already gone months sticking to a promise I’d made that I wouldn’t step into anything new knowing my track record. And yet, Finn is so far from any man on the record.
None of them were as thoughtful as him, as kind as him, as humble as him. The man is a goddamn millionaire now (and something is telling me he already was before Sam bought the company) and yet you wouldn’t hear him brag about it once.
When I think of the promise I made myself, I associate it with why I broke things off with Finn, but every time I say it to myself, it sounds wrong. It sounds like I’m making excuses. The real reason is on the tip of my tongue, and yet…
My doorbell rings and I groan. If it’s Bash again, I swear to God. He’s been visiting almost every day, and while I really appreciate the love and support, it’s a little overkill. I’m sad, but I’m still going. I don’t need a babysitter.
“Fucking Sebastian,” I mumble to myself as I shuffle over to the door with a blanket wrapped around me and covering my head.
I get the shock of my life when I open the door and Wren stands on the other side.
She looks at me and her eyes instantly glisten with tears.
“I miss my best friend,” is all she says, and it’s all she needs to say, because God, I missed mine, too.
I open up the blanket to bring her into a hug and I squeeze tightly. I inhale and take in the familiar scent of vanilla that wafts around her all the time. I snuggle into her shoulder deeper.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I tell her.
We pull apart and the tears have already started to fall down both of our faces. I usher her inside, shutting the door behind her. We flop onto the couch, Ollie happily settling himself between us.
“Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m still mad.”
