It’s good to hear Matthias laugh. I assumed he’d lost the ability.
Angelo is far easier to satisfy. He stuffs his face with no shame and even less manners.
Oh well. I suppose it’s good to know that some things don’t change.
Julian keeps his arm across the back of my chair and occasionally plays with strands of my hair. At one point he catches me staring at his profile and feeling overwhelmed that he’s all mine.
He curls his arm around my shoulders and his brows lift with concern. “You’re not eating much.”
In response, I steal the bread from his plate and take a bite. “Now I am.”
Julian smiles and a million tiny connections light up in my heart. I’m convinced this man’s smile could turn night into day.
Then his dark eyes turn serious and he mouths the words, “I love you.”
I swallow my bite of stolen bread. “I love you too.”
The huge bowls of spaghetti and meatballs are gone and Mel is serving chocolate pie when she asks my brothers, “What will you Grimaldi boys do now?”
“Back to work,” Matthias says tersely, refusing to elaborate.
Angelo is slower to respond and he doesn’t even dive into his slice of pie immediately.
“Will you return to the vineyard?” I ask.
After thinking about it, he shakes his head. “Nah. There’s nothing there but ghosts. Whatever’s left ought to be sold off.”
“Then where will you go?”
He shrugs. “Think I’ll try my luck in New York. I’ll find something to do there.”
“I’ll vouch for you,” Matthias says.
Angelo’s head whips up to look at him across the table. This is no small thing that Matthias is offering.
“Yeah?” Angelo says with surprise.
The corner of Matthias’s mouth curls up. “Yeah. We are brothers after all.”
I don’t know how long it will last, the two of them teaming up or even getting along, but I prefer to think optimistically.
Julian offers the family private jet to fly them to New York. He says he can have the pilot and flight crew ready and waiting in Laramie within two hours.
Matthias, not one to willingly accept a favor from anyone, hesitates. But Angelo takes the offer without thinking twice, which forces Matthias to mumble out the word, “Thanks.”
When it’s time for me and Julian to see my brothers off, his three brothers tag along as well. Julian insists on wrapping his warmest jacket around me before I walk through the front door.
Matthias stares at the way Julian zips up my jacket and then holds me close to his side. I could swear he seems a little wistful, perhaps thinking of how he was once in love. Then he blinks and the melancholy disappears, as if he’s chased it away.
For better or for worse, tragedy marks you forever. You get severed from whoever you were in that time of before. And whoever you might have been is lost. There’s only the changed version left behind.
But there are things I’ve learned only recently that I’d like to share with my big brother.
It’s okay to love with your whole heart even as you mourn the lost. In fact, youshoulddo this whenever you get the chance, no matter the risk.
Each day is a fleeting gift. To squander it is a crime.
“We should keep in touch more,” I say to Matthias.
