His hands stroke up and down my back, and he’s kissing my hair. Every few seconds, he tells me he loves me, and it almost sounds desperate the way he keeps saying it over and over.
It’s only when I start to catch my breath that everything replays in my head. Yeah, being with Penn is good. Heck, it’s the best. But this doesn’t fix our problem. He’s hiding something fromme, and I know it’s something big if he feels like he can’t tell me. But if he’s not cheating on me, what else could it be?
I pull off him and roll to the other side of the bed as if a little distance is going to help me figure it out.
But the distance doesn’t last long. Penn follows me, tugging me against his body, threading our arms and legs together until we’re flush against each other and I can feel the steady beat of his heart under my cheek. He kisses my forehead and leans his head against mine. I sigh in contentment, pushing my thoughts away.
CHAPTER 7
PENN
I don’t know how long we stay like this, tangled together in the middle of our bed with Aria’s head on my chest and my hand moving slowly up and down her back. For the first time in too damn long, she’s here in my arms, and we’re just together. I’m not trying to run from her questions, and she’s not looking at me like I’m hiding something awful like adultery.
Ugh, just the thought makes me sick. It still pains me that she would ever think I would consider another woman. Even though I’ve been distant lately, I would never betray my wife.
I press my lips to the top of her head and breathe her in. “Come on.”
She lifts her head and looks at me. She looks sleepy but curious. “Where are we going?”
“I’m going to run you a bath.”
Her lips part like she’s surprised, and that alone tells me how badly I’ve messed up. There was a time when taking care of her was the easiest thing I did. I used to know what she neededbefore she asked for it. Somewhere along the way, I stopped showing her that.
I slide out of bed and hold my hand out to her. She stares at it for a second before placing her hand in mine.
I lead her into the bathroom and turn on the water, letting it heat before I put a plug in the tub. Aria stands near the counter, wrapped in the sheet from our bed, watching me closely as if she doesn’t know what to make of this.
I hate that my wife looks surprised when I take care of her.
When the tub is full enough, I turn back to her and tug gently on the sheet. “Let me.”
She lets me pull it away, and my chest tightens at the sight of her. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and she’s mine. Every day, I’m thankful for what I have. Fuck, I don’t know who I would be if Aria hadn’t agreed to marry me because I would be lost without her.
I take her hand and help her step into the tub. She sinks into the water with a soft sigh, and I sit on the edge beside her.
She looks at me, surprised. “Aren’t you getting in?”
I grab a washcloth, dip it into the warm water, and run it slowly over her shoulder. “No, I was going to take care of you.”
She tilts her head at me. “You can do that from in here.”
I’m not going to argue with her because there’s no other place I’d rather be than with her body pressed against mine. I climb into the tub behind her, and she leans back against my chest and closes her eyes.
This right here is everything. Since the day we married, she’s given me everything without me having to ask. She makes my life better, and she deserves to have everything her heart desires. Even if I can’t give it to her. The thought sinks into my stomach.
I wash her arms, her shoulders, and the back of her neck. I take my time because I want to memorize this. I want to hold on to this version of us, even if it only lasts until morning.
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
I shake my head and softly whisper, “Nothing is wrong.”
She turns in my arms to look at me. “You tensed up. What are you thinking?”
I shrug. “I was thinking about how much I love you and that you deserve everything you want out of life.”
She sighs and leans back against me. “I have everything I want. How can you think I don’t?”
Instead of answering her, I say, “I love you.”
