She burrows into me.
I run the cloth down her arm and thread my fingers through hers beneath the water. “I mean it, Aria. I love you more than anything in this world.”
“I know,” she whispers.
But there’s something in her voice that tells me hearing the words is not enough anymore. I bring her wet hand to my mouth and kiss her fingers. “I need you to believe me about Nurse Jenner.”
She turns her head then, looking at me. “Penn?—”
“No.” I shake my head. “I need to say this. I don’t ever want you thinking I would do that to you. I don’t want you wondering if I’m looking at someone else or wanting someone else. There is no one else for me, and there never has been.”
Her eyes fill, and I hate that I’m the reason. “I’m sorry I let you think that was even possible. That’s on me. But I need you to know I would never cheat on you, and I would never want another woman. Not for one second.”
She looks down at the water, and her voice is quiet when she says, “You can’t blame me for wondering.”
The words hit hard, but I don’t argue because she’s right. This wall I’ve erected between us has her questioning everything, and I don’t blame her.
She swallows and keeps going. “You told me there’s something you’re hiding from me, but you won’t tell me what it is. So my mind went everywhere, Penn. Every bad place it could go.” She looks back at me, and the hurt in her eyes cuts straight through me. “You left me to guess. And when someone leaves you to guess, you automatically think the worst.”
I close my eyes for a second. Fuck.
“I know,” I say because there’s nothing else I can say without giving her the truth.
“And I hate it,” she whispers. “I hate feeling like this. I hate wondering what I don’t know about my own husband.”
I lean closer, resting my forehead against the side of her head. “I’m still your husband.”
“Then talk to me.” Her words are soft.
For a second, I almost do it. I could say it in one rushed ramble, and it would be out. But then I picture her face when she realizes what I can’t give her, and I lose my nerve.
“I love you,” I say again, even though it isn’t enough.
Aria pulls back just enough to look at me. “I love you too, Penn. But loving me means you don’t hide things.”
I don’t have an answer for that.
So I kiss her hand again and stay beside her until the water starts to cool.
The whole time, I keep touching her like I can make up for every way I’ve failed her, and that’s been a lot lately.
CHAPTER 8
ARIA
I pull the brush through my hair and can’t seem to wipe the smile off my face.
Yes, there is still something between Penn and me, but maybe it’s different now. He’s lighter this morning. The smile is back on his face, and I can’t remember the last time I saw it. He’s joking around, he’s playful, and he can’t seem to keep his hands off me.
“What are you smiling about?” I ask him.
His smile gets even bigger as he looks at me through the mirror. “What do you think I’m smiling about?”
I set my brush on the counter and turn to lean against it, facing him. “I don’t know. Tell me.”
He puts his hands on my waist and pulls me to him. “I’m thinking about last night. About how good you taste and about how I want more.”
His eyes darken, and he leans in to kiss me.
