I had read it. I had stared at it on those papers until all the words blurred, but it’s different to hear him actually say it. There’s shame in his face, and I know what he’s thinking. He thinks this makes him less of a man and worthless in my eyes.
I blink hard but keep my voice steady. “Okay.”
He stares at me, and I see the surprise move across his face. “Okay?” he asks.
I nod slowly. “Okay.”
His brows pull together. “Aria?—”
I shrug. “What?”
“You’re not…” He stops and looks away, like he doesn’t know what word he’s looking for. “You’re not reacting.”
“I am reacting.”
“No, you’re not.” His voice sharpens, but I can hear the fear underneath it. “You’re sitting there like I just told you we’re out of coffee.”
I let out a shaky breath. “I’m trying not to make this harder for you.”
His face crumples for half a second before he gets it under control. “Harder for me?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Aria, this isn’t about me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” My voice breaks a little. “You’re the one who got those results and carried this alone. You’re the one who decided you were broken before you ever gave me the chance to tell you that you weren’t.”
He goes still.
I press my lips together because I’m getting ahead of myself, and I know he isn’t done.
He looks down at our hands again. “I know how much you want a baby.”
Tears sting my eyes.
His voice is thick and rough. “I know you want to be pregnant. I know you want all of it. And I want it too. I want it so damn much.”
I nod, holding his hand tighter. “I know.”
He looks at me like that hurts.
“I do,” I whisper.
He shakes his head. “There are options. If you want to be pregnant, we can find a donor. We can look into IVF. We can talkto specialists. If that’s not what you want, we can adopt. We can foster. We can do anything you want.”
His grip on my hand tightens.
“Anything,” he says again. “I’ll do anything. I just don’t want to lose you.”
I turn toward him more fully. “Penn, we’ll get through this.”
He looks stunned. It’s like he expected me to fall apart, and I’m not. I mean, yeah, I’m sad about the whole thing, but it’s not the end of the world.
“We will get through this, Penn,” I tell him. “I don’t know what it looks like yet. I don’t know what I want to do or how I feel about all the options, but we’ll figure it out together.”
His eyes move over my face. “Together?”
“Yes.”
