He lets out a breath, but it sounds broken. “You’re handling this too well.”
I look down.
He puts a finger to my chin and lifts, searching my face. “Aria?”
I pull my hand from his, not because I don’t want him touching me, but because I need to think. I wipe my cheeks and stand, taking a few steps away from the couch.
He watches me closely. “What is it?”
I turn back to him. “I already knew.”
The silence after those words is awful. Penn doesn’t move. Heck, he doesn’t even blink.
He shakes his head, confused. “What?”
I fold my arms across my stomach. “Last week, when I came home, I knocked over your briefcase. The latch came open, and papers went everywhere. I was trying to put everything back where it belonged.”
His face goes pale.
“I saw your name. Fertility evaluation. Azoospermia. Low likelihood of natural conception.” My voice shakes on the last part. “I read enough to know.”
He stands slowly. “You knew?”
I nod.
“All this time?”
“It’s been a few days.”
His hand goes to the back of his neck, and he turns away from me. “Jesus.”
I take a step toward him and lift my hand to put on his shoulder but stop before I do. “I didn’t mean to read it.”
His head is bent, but he nods. “I know.”
I still feel bad. “I wasn’t snooping.”
He nods again. “I know, Aria.”
He sounds wrecked, and part of me wants to go to him, but another part of me is still so hurt.
He turns back around. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I point at him. “Because I wanted you to tell me.”
I take a step toward him until we’re toe to toe. “I wanted you to trust me enough to say it. I wanted you to stop deciding what I could handle and what I couldn’t.”
He flinches.
I throw a hand up in the air. “I have been begging you to let me in for months,” I say. “You let me think you didn’t want me, that you didn’t want a family with me. Heck, I even thought there was someone else.”
His eyes close. “I’m sorry.”
I nod. “I know you are. The one thing I’ve learned through all this is that you will do anything, and I mean anything, to protect me.”
He reaches for me but then drops his hand. “I never wanted you to think I didn’t want you or that I didn’t want a family with you.”
I nod. “But I did.”
