All day traveling back to the monastery was a blur. I just let Midnight carry me back, all alone.
You’ve brought shame to this family with your act of rebellion. All this trouble and for what? You failed to keep your girl alive anyway. I don’t allow such weakness in the family, Father’s last words to me before he banished me ring in my mind.
I’m a failure.
Becoming the Blood Sentineal didn’t change that.
With a sigh, I rise to my feet and unsaddle both horses. Then, I set up the small fire pit and settle next to it. My stomach is in knots.
I can’t force myself to eat.
I should go after her.
Imustgo after her.
I don’t need you following me like an obedient puppy. Nix’s sharp words sit like a blade in the middle of my chest.
No.
She doesn’t need me. She made it pretty damn clear.
I lie down on my side, watching the fire dance until it dies down. But even as the darkness of the night settles around me, sleep evades me.
I barely get any.Maybe an hour or two of restless slumber.
Every time I close my eyes, I see Nix.
I dream of her.
It never ends well.
Once I finish preparing the horses to hit the road, curiosity gets the best of me. I open the door between us and reach for her through our bond.
Immediately, I recoil.
It’s—
It’s impossible.
The bond that’s been strong and clear since the moment we finished the ritual…now it’s dulled. Phoenix is far away. I barely sense her, like the last ember dying in the fireplace.
Dread weighs on my shoulders.
I don’t need you. Her cruel words ring in my mind as I mount Midnight and return to the road.
For the restof the trip, I don’t bother stopping for the night. I only pause regularly to let the horses graze, drink, and rest for a couple of hours at a time.
When the white building of the monastery emerges at the end of the road, I pause.
I’ll have to face Elder Arcon, the monks. Kazh. Phoenix’s Ezkai, who were already not fond of me, the General Slayer, being part of their group…
I don’t know if I can do it.
I failed my mission.
Do you love her?Elder Arcon’s words ring in my mind.
Just as in that moment when he asked me the question, my throat closes in.
