There was a fountain, in that little side garden we had access to last time we stayed here. I’m certain there was a fountain.
I wander the vast ground for a little while before I finally spot the damn fountain. Once I approach it, the flat rock surrounded by wildflowers emerges behind it.
Victorious, I walk over to the rock and brush my fingertips over the rough surface.
This is perfect.
Quickly, I climb on top and fold my legs underneath me. With a deep exhale, I rest my palms on my knees and allow my eyes to close.
The first couple of breaths are ragged, and shallow. Something creaks in the distance, and I immediately open my eyes to look around. I expect to find my Ezkai guards back to stalk me, but there’s nothing there.
I’m too tense.
With the next inhale, I roll my shoulders and try to let loose a little. I shake my hands, sway my torso side to side, and when I’m ready, close my eyes again.
This time it’s better.
At turtle speed, I get into the soothing rhythm of deep inhales and exhales. With each breath, my chest opens and my mind clears.
I’m a steady mountain.
I slip into that pleasant state of mind where my body is light, and loose. My mind is a cloud, floating through the clear blue sky with ease.
My body is warm, but not too warm. The tips of my fingers and my toes tingle pleasantly.
The wind tickles my cheeks, and the rustling of the leaves in the trees around me calms me further. The cheerful chirps of birds that nest in those trees go right through me. I can sense their presence. I can feel the whole world around me pulse with life. I’m part of that ecosystem. The piece of a bigger puzzle.
Just as I surrender completely into that bliss, the storm clouds come.
They roll in with thunder. My shoulders sag when the first image pierces my mind like lightning.
Daegel’s dark eyes, and the cheeky smirk on his lips as he stands there in front of me with a wicker basket.
I try to push it away, try to refocus.
Another strike.
He reaches a hand towards me. My memory remembers the details, but what’s worse is that my body remembers how I felt.
How easy it was for me to forget everything else and reach for Daegel’s hand. How little convincing I needed to follow him into the forest.
Another strike. Crueler this time. Daegel’s dark eyes right as I pressed my blade against his throat.
That snaps me out of it.
Breathing heavily, I open my eyes. My heart thunders all the way into my throat. I clear my throat and slowly unfold my legs.
Meditation, once a safe haven, has become my personal torture.
I slide off the rock and pivot towards the forest. The very tops of the trees sway a little with the wind.
Back in Wetra, when the storms came, we’d sit on the back patio of the house with my sisters, bundled up in wool blankets, and watch the trees in the forest dance in the rain.
“It sounds like the roaring waves, doesn’t it?” Fane asked Dad once. “When the storm wind moves the trees.”
Dad smiled, eyes trained on the trees. “It does, dear.”
“Roaring trees,” I said with a giggle.
