“Yeah.” He scrubs his hand down his face. “It’s rough, I get it. And you can never get some shit back, so you’re just going to have to deal with it. But word of advice?”
I nod, my teeth clenching.
“Move forward. For them, with them. Emery being here is your chance to make something of this, and you don’t want to fuck it up by being angry. We all know how that messes with a kid.”
A little too well. My dad was angry from the second I was born. Not at me, necessarily, but at everything. And it slowly ate our family one bite at a time.
“I’m here if you need anything.” Legacy grips my shoulder.
“Thanks, brother.”
He nods. “Now go get cleaned up. Just because we gotta be this for them doesn’t mean they need to see it.”
I glance down at my blood-drenched clothes—at the monster I am.
A monster I’ll be over and over for them if I have to. I don’t regret it for a second.
10
Emery
Hayes isn’t home whenCharlie’s cry wakes me up. I’m surprised I managed to fall asleep at all when it feels like I haven’t slept since the moment my uncle locked me in that wing of his casino.
At night, I would lie awake, listening to movement through the wing, worrying what would happen if I let my guard down. Knowing what type of men my uncle let hang around.
It was unnerving.
But in Hayes’s dusty house, I somehow feel safe enough to sleep. The distant hum of motorcycles reminds me he isn’t far.
We aren’t alone.
After feeding Charlie, I take stock of her diapers and formula. I’m running low and will need to get more before I run out, but I’m still good for a few days. At some point in the night, Hayes must have made good on his promiseto come home because a phone sits on the counter with a note that says he programmed his phone number into it, and to reach out if I need anything.
It should be comforting, but it’s a statement as to how little he intends to be around if he expects me to need to call him with any requests. At least it’s something. And with my car still parked outside, I could go into the city if absolutely necessary.
I mull that over while dusting the house. Charlie still sleeps most of the day, so there’s not much to do to keep me busy. At least if I’m cleaning, my mind is occupied.
By the middle of the afternoon, I’m tired, sweaty, and a knock on the door makes me jump.
I glance at where Charlie is sleeping in a makeshift crib I created for her in the living room. Hayes wouldn’t knock, so it can’t be him, and he didn’t tell me I should be expecting anyone.
Could my uncle have made it through the compound gates? If so, would he bother knocking?
A second knock has me grabbing my phone, and thankfully, it only rings once before Hayes answers.
“You got my note.” His smile is clear in his tone, and it makes my heart flutter.
Noise in the background makes me curious what he’s doing, but I don’t have time—or any right—to ask.
“Someone’s here,” I whisper, moving toward the curtains at the front. “They knocked twice.”
“Oh shit, I meant to text you so you wouldn’t worry. The old ladies are coming over.”
“The old ladies?”
“It’s just a term we use. They’re basically wives—actually, all of them are wives at this point. I asked them to check in since I won’t be back until later.”
“You’re coming back?” My chest tightens, and I hope I don’t sound as pathetic as I feel at the thought that he’s not just going to abandon us in this house.
