“Tell you what?”
“How was it?”
“I just told you?” I frown. “It was like being a teenager again, horny and insane.”
She laughs again, that wench. Her two front teeth are slightly crooked; one overlaps the other. She always used to hate that—I’ve always loved it.
“Speaking of insane,” I say. “Do you think your eyes are a little too smoky for everyday?”
“Yeah, but I’m going through a phase. That okay with you?” she says, pressing her tongue to her cheek, putting a piece of her hair behind her ear.
“Sure.” I scoot further up on the couch, crossing my legs.
“Speaking of smoky,” she says, reaching for her laptop and places it on her knees. She hits a key and then—
“No way!” I squeal, laughing with my head thrown back. “I haven’t heard this in forever!”
“Right? I just unpacked the last box last night and found our old CD. You remember?”
“Lay back in the arms of someone,” I mumble along with the song. It’s our song. Her mom was a big Smokey fan when we grew up and Lou burned a CD with all of their best songs, but this was our favorite one. My eyes burn a little as I think back on it.
Lou sings along, smiling and I miss her more than I have in a while. She’s my rock and that I don’t get to see her every day in the flesh, is a fucking crime against humanity.
20
Seth
Kaden’sbeenrubbingandcracking his neck all afternoon. I’m starting to think it’s more of a stress thing than a physical thing. Maybe it’s anxiety. That can express itself in all kinds of ways.
Kaden’s ringing up his last customer at the same time I finish the clean-up of my station. When the door falls shut, I walk over. He’s chafing his neck so hard, the skin is turning slightly pink. I rub my hands together, warming them up before I put them on his shoulders, but he flinches and shrugs me off.
“I’m good, dude,” he says, moving away from me. My stomach falls forty floors, and I feel sick.
Shit!
I knew I took it too far the last time. I’m such a fucking idiot.Shitshitshit!
I just stand there, while Radiohead is singing about being a creep and not belonging and it’s fucking me they’re singing about.
Fuck!
I take deep breath, in through my nose, out through my mouth. Nose. Mouth. Nose. Mouth.
Rebuild. Rebuild. Rebuild.
Kaden moves over to the bathroom, washes his hands and Iggy walks past me from the back door, smelling like coffee and cigarettes.
“So, I just got off the phone with my cousin,” she says, dropping down on the couch. Kaden plants himself on the other couch.
“I told you, I was asked to be her bridesmaid?”
I have to move. I can’t just stand here. I take another breath, trying to shake off everything before I slowly make my way over and sit down next to her.
“Yeah, well, she just called to remind me to cover up my tattoos for the wedding day,” she scoffs. “Like, what the fuck?”
“Seriously?” Kaden frowns.
“Yeah! She said, and I quote‘You know I don’t mind them, but Luke’s grandparents are coming’.And I was like, so? And then she said,‘Well, they’re sort of old fashioned and I just don’t want any drama on my wedding day’.”
