This time, Chaewondoesglance at me. I have to stifle a laugh and try to keep a straight face as I say, “Flávia is Brazilian and Irish.”
“Yeah, but she’s … you know.”
“Black?”
Jess shifts in her seat, like the word Black is something dirty or uncomfortable.
“Yeah.And they have henna in Africa.”
“But … Flávia isn’t African. It’s not a part of her culture.”
“And if she was African, if it was part of her culture, that would be different?”
“Obviously.”
Jess leans back in her chair. For a moment, I think maybe I’ve actually got through to her. That she’ll throw up her hands and say, “Let’s do it, then!”
Instead, she says, “You’re making a mountain out of a molehill. Actually, I’m not even sure there’s a molehill. You’re just making a huge deal out of something that’s not even there. Like, you can be annoyed at Flávia and Chyna stealing your idea without playing the race card.”
“The race card!” My voice has definitely risen now, if only because Jess is sounding more and more like Chyna, and less and less like a rational, sympathetic human being. But before I can say more, Chaewon is standing up and putting her hands out between us. It’s a little dramatic, because it’s not like Jess and I are about to attack each other. At least, not physically.
Yet.
“Maybe we should just call a truce for now. Sleep on this and come back,” Chaewon says.
“We can’t. We have to talk to Ms. Montgomery and finalize our plans in class today.” Jess points out. “And since this is a democracy, we should vote on what we want. So if you want to abandon the henna plan, raise your hand.”
She raises her own hand and turns expectantly to Chaewon. I will Chaewon not to raise her hand, even though I know that she’ll always choose Jess’s side over mine.
Surprisingly, though, Chaewon shakes her head. “I’m not choosing a side, and we’re not voting. I’m sure Ms. Montgomery will understand if we ask for an extension because we need more time. We’ll tell her that we’ll take a day or two to really think about it and get back to her ASAP. We can even explain the whole Flávia situation to her. The overlap of ideas.”
Theft of ideas, I want to point out, but I doubt Ms. Montgomery will see it that way either.
“If we push back starting our business, then Flávia and Chyna are going to swoop in and take all of our customers. It’ll be for nothing,” I say.
“Then the obvious thing to do is come up with a new idea. We already have some options brainstormed and—”
But this time I stand up. My chair scrapes loudly against the floor, nearly toppling over. Nowthatwould have been dramatic. But even this has a few people in the room staring up at us, wondering what’s causing an outburst in our usually quiet, introverted group.
“I’m not interested in new ideas. I’m not interested in a compromise. I’m interested in starting this henna business and beating Chyna and Flávia for stealing from me, from us.”
Jess parts her lips, probably to say something else that’ll make me see red, but I’m already turning around and heading out the door.
The last thing I hear is Jess telling Chaewon how unbelievably ridiculous I’m being. I don’t stop to hear if Chaewon will defend me. I already know she won’t.
I’m probably paranoid, but I feel like everybody in the school knows about my disagreement with Jess and Chaewon. Like everybody’s staring at me, judging. It’s not like I’m the most popular kid in school—far from it. But now I’ve alienated the only two people who actually put up with me. Who sit with me in class and lunch. Who occasionally text me on WhatsApp.
But how can they not get that this is important to me? And if I can’t trust them withthis,how can I trust them withme?
I shuffle into the last class of the day—Business—with my head held as high as it can be. I’m pretty sure I’m giving myself a stiff neck, but I don’t care. I just want Chaewon and Jess to know they don’t bother me. That I don’t regret my decision, even though there’s a small part of me that keeps repeatingwhat did you do, what did you do, what did you doin a berating mantra.
I take a seat at the very front of the class—where Chaewon would most definitely love to sit—and stare up ahead, waiting for Ms. Montgomery to make her appearance. The rest of the class shuffles in, some of them casting curious glances at me and then at Chaewon and Jess sitting at the back of the class, huddled together. Probably discussing me.
When Flávia walks in, glued to Chyna’s side as always, she glances at me. There’s a twinkle in her eye, and a smile tugging at her lips. My heart flutters at the sight of her even though I’m trying to tell it to shut up because we are rivals and she’s a culture thief! But then Flávia is looking away again, and she and Chyna push past my desk to find a seat by the window.
Ms. Montgomery bounds into the classroom a moment later with a flourish.
“Good afternoon, girls!” She exclaims like we’re about to set off on an exciting adventure and not a regular old business class that nobody really wants to be in.
