“You’re sorry?” I scoff. “For what?”
“I’m sorry for … well, all of it, I guess. I shouldn’t have …”
Aisling sighs. “I shouldn’t have been so judgy of you for being gay—”
“Bisexual.”
“Bisexual, yes. And … I shouldn’t have been … jealous of Ishita.”
“That’s why you did all of this? Jealousy?” I ask.
Aisling shrugs. “We’ve been friends since primary school … I just didn’t want to lose you.”
I nod slowly. “You’re going to apologize to Ishu?”
“Are we friends again?” Aisling finally meets my gaze. There’s so much hope in her eyes, but none of it makes me feel anything. How can I ever trust her again, after everything she’s lied about? Everything she’s done?
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I need … time.”
She glances at Dee instead of me. “I can’t believe you won’t even accept my apology. I don’t know what youwantfrom me!” She exclaims.
“I want you to give me time,” I say. “Everything you’ve done … it’s a lot, Aisling. It’s a lot to forgive.”
“It was a mistake,” Dee says. “Aisling regrets it.”
“How are lying and manipulating mistakes?” I ask. “And I’m not the only one who needs an apology. You know that.”
Aisling chews on her lips. It’s the most nervous I’ve ever seen her, I think. The most human I have seen her in a very long time. Then, she shakes her head.
“Forgive me, don’t forgive me. I’m definitely not apologizing to Ishita Dey.” She waits for a moment, like she’s expecting me to say something—to take back what I’ve said. Then, she turns on her heel and begins her ascent up the steps and out the main gates. Dee glances between me and her for a moment, like she’s trying to make up her mind about who to choose. Like she hasn’t already done that. Then she’s gone too.
And it’s just me.
chapter forty-eight
ishu
IKNOWISHOULD PROBABLY FEEL BAD FOReavesdropping on Hani’s conversation with her friends, but as Aisling and Deirdre rush away from Hani like she’s worth nothing, I couldn’t be more glad about my decision.
I watch as other people push past Hani, casting curious glances. I have no doubt that within hours Aisling will have filled their heads with propaganda about Hani—even if they’re friends. Though I’m not sure if they’re friends anymore. Not after this.
As I watch Hani stand there on her own, looking after her awful friends, it’s as if all my confusion, all my questions wash away to nothing. Because Nik was right. I’m ready to forgive Hani, but maybe I haven’t been ready to know if Hani and I could really work.
I slip out of the side of the secluded corner of the school building and walk toward Hani.
“Wow,” I say. Hani turns to me with unshed tears in her wide eyes. She tries to blink them away as soon as she spots me.
“Hey … what are you …” She gulps, like it’s taking some effort to quell her tears. Aisling and Deirdre are definitely not worth her tears. I guess Hani still has to learn that.
“I was just going home when I saw this all blow up, so … I stayed behind to see how it all turned out.” I shrug. “You held your own pretty well.”
Hani lets out a little sniffle, tears rolling down her cheeks slowly. She wipes one away almost aggressively. Maybe they’re angry tears rather than sad ones, but somehow I don’t think so.
“I … f-feel … silly.”
I chuckle. Step forward. Brush away another tear from her cheek. Softer than she had done it. The touch of her skin again mine is hot. I want nothing more than to touch her again, but I don’t.
I say, “They don’t deserve you. They never did.”
