I look away at first, leaning against the bar, but after a moment, my eyes drift back to her. She hasn’t looked away from me.
I consider turning back to find Aisha and Thea, because I’m here with them after all, but I also know what they would say if they were here now. They’d tell me to go up to her, they’d tell me that this is what I’m here for – to blow off steam and have fun – and flirting with a gorgeous woman at the bar who seems to be checking me out unapologetically definitely counts as blowing off steamandhaving fun. Besides, I haven’t been with anyone since Anu and I broke up a few months ago.
So, instead of running back to my friends with my tail between my legs, I approach the woman at the bar. She positively beams at me when I’m close enough to be within earshot.
‘Hey,’ I say.
‘Hi.’ She smiles. ‘It’s impossible to get a drink here, isn’t it? I’ve been trying to get that guy’s attention for like ten minutes.’
‘If a beautiful girl like you can’t even get a drink, then the rest of us have no hope,’ I say. I’m trying to sound smooth, but my throat is so dry that my words come out raspy.
‘Cat got your tongue?’ she asks, with a smirk in my direction. I guess she heard me even if my words barely made it out.
A flush crawls up my skin. ‘Now you know why I need a drink.’
She lets out a chuckle, which makes me feel at least a little satisfied. I’ve managed to get a laugh out of her, even though I clearly have no game anymore.
‘It didn’t seem like you were interested in talking to me,’ she says.
I clear my throat, really wishing I’d been able to get a drink before trying to have this conversation. ‘Well, I’m over here, aren’t I?’
‘I’m Lora,’ she says.
‘Dina.’
‘Nice to meet you, Dina.’ She glances at the bartender for a moment before heaving a sigh. ‘Want to join me for a smoke outside?’
Getting imbued with smoke isn’t my idea of fun, but I’m not about to turn down Lora, especially not when I’ve already got this far.
‘Sure.’
She leads me away from the bar. I glance back, trying to find my friends, but it’s too dark and there are too many people. I’m sure it’ll be fine, though.
A few people are huddled in the smoking area. There’s a chill in the air despite it being the summer. Lora and I go to a corner, and she doesn’t take out a cigarette. Instead, she leans dangerously close to me, staring at me with her dark brown eyes. For a moment, I’m reminded of Maya, the way she looked at me wide-eyed when she ran into me at the fundraiser. It had sent a jolt of lightning through me. I’d thought that I would never feel anything like that for Maya again. That we had moved past the point where she could make me feel anything at all. That’s how things should work. When someone betrays you, breaks your heart, you should be able to put away your feelings. Lock them up and be done with them forever.
‘Are you OK, Dina?’
I blink, and realise that it’s not Maya’s dark brown eyes staring at me. It’s Lora, a woman I’ve just met. A woman who is looking at me very differently from how Maya used to. She’s looking at me with a vacant kind of hunger, like I could be anyone in the world. And that’s who I want to be for her – someone who is uncomplicated, someone who is disposable, at least for the night.
‘I’m fine,’ I say. ‘Sorry.’
‘Do you come to this club a lot?’ Lora asks.
I raise an eyebrow in her direction. ‘Seriously? You’re really asking me if I come here often?’
Lora laughs again. ‘I didn’t mean it as a line. I’ve never been here before. I like it, though.’
‘It’s my first time here. One of my friends heard about it,and … we all needed a night away from … life, I guess.’
Lora gives me a questioning look. ‘Life has been troubling lately?’
I shrug. The word troubling doesn’t exactly cover it. It’s been messy and complicated and confusing. ‘My ex moved back to town and it’s been … weird,’ I explain. It doesn’t feel like a good enough explanation, but it’s all I can give.
Lora smiles sympathetically. ‘You still have feelings for her?’
‘No.’ But the word comes out pathetic and hollow. We both know it. I sigh. ‘Maybe … I still have some feelings. I don’t know. It’s complicated, and I wish I was over her.’
‘I can help with that,’ Lora says. She inches closer to me.
