‘He’s just a friend,’ I say honestly. ‘My oldest friend.’
‘But he didn’t help you out with those tickets.’
‘You forgive friends,’ I say quietly.
‘Okay,’ he says, nodding. ‘I’ll leave it alone.’ He shakes his head. ‘What do I know about friendship anyway?’
‘You said before you didn’t really have many friends in your old school,’ I say. ‘Is that true?’
He shrugs. ‘I had acquaintances. Guys I hung out with. But they never got why I wanted to teach myself photography, or learn every element in the periodic table, or when I tried to perfect baking San Francisco sourdough bread. They wanted to play video games or go to the movies, which I liked, but there’s other things I like too. So I kept drifting to the sidelines. Finding it hard to connect, you know? Until I met May.’
‘And she saw you?’ I can’t help but want to know more. And it feels nice Ty is opening up to me like this. It feels like he really cares about what I think.
‘She was interested in everything, like I was. But ironically, considering she left me for her lab partner, I don’t think we had real chemistry.’ I laugh. ‘It’s true, I think we found things interesting. When I saw her with Jordan, the lab partner, I could tell there was something different there.’ He looks at me. ‘That’s why I appreciate you.’ I think he can see my startled look, because he quickly says, ‘Because you also find things interesting. You ask me a lot of questions. There’s more to you.’
I get a faint, buzzing feeling whenever he says something nice to me. Like he really sees me. I catch his eye, he gives me a faint smile . . .
We need to move on – I’m going to see Ollie, I can’t feel like this. ‘Is that why you want to stay here for uni? So you can meet more people?’
‘And for Daze and Mom. They’re more than my family, they’re my friends too. I don’t know what I would do without them. Mom’s the one who spent all that time baking bread with me. She’s never doubted me or asked questions. And Daze can be themost annoying person on the planet, but he’s so smart, so funny. I don’t want to be on the other side of the world from them.’
‘How does your dad feel about you going on this open day?’ I say.
‘Oh, Paul doesn’t know,’ says Ty.
‘Then what does he think you need the car for?’
‘He thinks I’m taking you to the open day because I’m such a good friend,’ he says. ‘So he knows we’re going to Liverpool. The car has a GPS tracker anyway.’
‘Ah, so you lied,’ I say.
‘More bent the truth.’
I raise my eyebrows. ‘You are going to the open day though,’ I say.
Ty shrugs his shoulders. ‘It’s not worth rocking the boat with Paul. He doesn’t need to know.’
‘So when you miraculously decide to go to university here, what, he won’t know?’
‘Paul believes he knows what’s best for me. I like to keep him believing he does.’
‘Even though you disagree.’
‘Selena, we’ve been through this. My dad is . . . how do you say it here . . . an arsehole. But I need to keep him happy. It’s not worth the stress otherwise.’
‘Okay,’ I say, and smile at him. ‘I’ll leave it alone.’
Ty turns up the music. He laughs. ‘Maybe this is what friendship is. Knowing when to not talk about things.’
Friends, that’s what we are. If that’s the case, why is my heart beating so much? I turn back to the window. Things felt a lot less complicated when we were fighting.
Twenty-Six
Because I’m torn
Split in two
With a jagged line
