As the year draws to a close, I realise I owe a lot of people an apology. Firstly you, the reader. What started out as a harmless way of voicing my opinions derailed into harmful opinions. Ones with no consequences for me, as I could hide in my anonymity. You all took what I said as truth, without anyone being able to hold me accountable. Like Santa is also Saint Nicholas, the Secret Sender is also Selena. It’s time to ditch the mask.
That’s not good journalism, and I apologise for it. I am sorry if my opinions harmed you or your friendships; if you felt attacked and had no way to respond. I excused myself by pretending to be above it all, but I was taking out my feelings on others through quips and jibes.
So, to the whole school, I am sorry.
Also, Ms Harkness, you were right. Secrets get you nowhere.
There’s another very public apology I must make.
Kira Ganyo, I am sorry.
I am sorry for taking your support for granted. I am sorry for calling you interfering, when all you were doing was trying to help me. I am sorry for being so self-conscious I accused you of jealousy.
These are all very embarrassing things to admit, but Kira, I am not embarrassed about how much I love you.
And in the season of giving, I am giving you this very public apology. With my own name attached.
Please forgive me, because I need you to be my friend.
From the person who used to be known as the Secret Sender.
Selena Pia
‘Wow,’ says Tori, finishing reading it. ‘How did you get this published?’
‘That’s all you have to say about the article?’ I say, shaking my head.
‘It’s not my opinion that counts here, is it? Do you think Kira has read it yet?’
Forty-Five
And I’m sorry that I
Didn’t pick up the phone
That I left you alone
That I wasn’t there
‘A Hundred and One’ fromDreamers
I meet Kira at a coffee shop the next day, after work. I left a bit early, but I don’t think anyone noticed. I said it was for my interview.
‘Why did you agree to see me?’ I say after we get our drinks.
Kira shrugs. ‘It was a very over-the-top way to get my attention. It deserved a response.’
‘How’s the end of term going?’ I say.
‘All good, everyone’s starting to take it easy you know.’ She shrugs, takes a sip of her coffee. ‘Honestly, it’s been quite shit without the three of us hanging out. How about you? You’re doing the work experience, right?’
‘It’s so good,’ I say. ‘I’m really enjoying it. I like doing this stuff! Even the boring bits.’
‘How about hanging out with Tori all day?’
‘She’s not so bad. I mean, we’re both doing this competition, but I think . . . I think she respects me now. Since I stood up toher that time.’
‘I wish I could have seen it,’ says Kira.
