‘I was definitely inspired by you,’ I say. I think about it. ‘And I was inspired by me. It was time I started saying what I thought.’
‘Well, the letter inThe Common Roomreally sounded like that.’ Kira smiles.
‘Did you like it?’ I say.
Kira rubs her chin. ‘I liked seeing you speak out publicly as yourself, you know. To Faye and I in private, yeah, you say what you think. But to everyone else, you’ve always been afraid. So I was impressed to see you less afraid.’ She pauses. ‘And the public apology was nice.’
I take a deep breath. ‘I am sorry, Kira. I’m sorry I said you were interfering, you were jealous of me and your expectations of life are unrealistic,’ I say, trying to remember everything I said on my birthday.
‘That cut me deep, you know?’ she says. ‘Like, I know they’re sky-high ambitions. I know wanting to be, not even Prime Minister, but wanting to besomeone, is unrealistic. But what hurts is I thought you would have believed in me.’
‘I do believe in you,’ I say urgently. ‘If there’s one thing I believe in it is your ability to crush it. If anything, I’m the jealous one. I’ve always been jealous of your focus.’
She shakes her head. ‘Let’s cut jealousy out of this.’ She reaches over the table and takes my hand. ‘I forgive you, Selena. It’s going to take a lot more than a fight to break our friendship.’
I smile at her. ‘I’m glad. I realised how much I needed you.’ I look at her slyly. ‘But you will never guess what I did by myself.’
‘What?’ she says, leaning forwards.
‘I sent off my UCAS.’
‘No!’ she says, banging her hand on the table. ‘Really?’
‘Yup,’ I say, leaning back, happy to have told her. ‘And you know when I did it, the main person I wanted to tell was you!’
‘I’m pleased for you. What did you apply for?’
‘English Literature and Language. Keep my options open. And only London universities.’ I feel a tension in my chest. ‘I still don’t like the idea of leaving home, but I thought I should just send in the applications and figure it out later if I get accepted.’
‘Yes, Selena!’ says Kira, hitting the table. ‘I’m glad you’ve worked out how to do it your way. That’s all that matters. We’re all different, and that’s okay!’
‘I’m just so glad I can tell you about it. I really needed to start reversing the list of people I pissed off.’
‘Who else have you pissed off?’ she says, laughing. ‘Faye told me about your mum and the vase, which is really bad . . . but you got to admit, Tori’s boyfriend throwing up in it is an image.’
I shake my head. ‘The list was you, Mum and Ty,’ I say. I then fill her in on everything that happened with him and Ollie. ‘So then he said he thought we should be friends because he might be moving away in the summer, and he doesn’t want us to fall out again.’
‘And you kissed on your birthday?’
‘Yeah.’
‘And you told him you liked him?’
‘Yeah.’
She leans back. ‘Well, girl, that really is something.’
‘I was hoping for some advice!’
‘Well, it sounds like he likes you, and you like him, and you both told each other you like each other, so I’m not really sure what else you can do here.’
‘Well, he’s never explicitly said he likes me.’
‘He kissed you back, I would say it’s implicit.’
‘So what do I do?’ I say, sitting forwards. ‘What would you do?’
‘I would walk up to that man and tell him he’s being ridiculous and kiss him.’
