Why was he sorry?
He never said he didn’t want to leave.
The last realisation punches me in the gut. Does he really want to go? He’s been saying for ages he wants to stay here, but what if he’s changed his mind?
Ty is a chivalrous guy. And if he thinks he’s moving back to the US . . .
But I still haven’t told him how I really feel. I told him I want to be with him, but I haven’t told him why. I asked him if deep down he wanted to leave, but he never answered. And if I’m honest with myself, I’m afraid of the rejection.
Maybe he got caught up in the moment. What if he doesn’t really like me that way, and feels bad about kissing me? What if I was wrong about everything?
Ugh. I roll on my bed, and sink my face into my pillow, as if I can suffocate the thoughts.
I resurface to text the Neapolitan group chat:SOS.
Forty-Seven
It’s reckless, the way we’re doing this
It’s a mess, I can’t lose you another time
‘Reckless’ fromRoses
It feels good to have Kira pacing my room again. She and Faye immediately drove over, despite it getting late now. Luckily Mum isn’t home yet, otherwise she would have kicked them out because it’s a school night.
‘Okay, so why did you call us here?’ she says.
‘Take this as calmly as possible, but Ty kissed me. Or I kissed Ty. I’m not entirely sure.’
‘WHAT?’ they both chorus. Kira immediately stops and turns to face me, jaw slack. Faye sits up and stares at me.
‘Okay, okay,’ I say. ‘Just don’t . . . don’t get overexcited. I took your advice, Kira.’
‘One, I’m excited you took my advice. Two, how can we not get overexcited at Ty kissing you? Or you kissing him? Which is a detail we are going to need,’ says Kira.
‘Yeah, tell us everything,’ says Faye, more simply.
I exhale, and start spilling out what has been going through my head for the last hour. The fights, the kiss, the apology, the walk away, and now me sitting on my bed with no idea what happened.
‘Sounds romantic,’ says Kira.
‘Are you joking?’ I say.
‘You had a wild, passionate kiss at the side of your house – I would say it was romantic,’ says Kira.
‘And then he left abruptly. After apologising for the whole thing. What part is romantic?’ I say.
‘Well, he clearly likes you,’ says Faye.
‘I’m not sure that’s clear,’ I say. ‘He said he wanted us to be friends.’
‘Yeah but then he kissed you. Mixed messages,’ says Kira.
‘I think that’s the problem,’ I say.
‘He probably has a reason for what he said,’ says Kira. ‘The only way you’re going to find out is if you talk to him.’
I groan. ‘I’m going to have to, aren’t I?’
