Jude had seen Arden throwing up in a trash can and there was lots of silent communication between those two before he led her outside. Apparently, her being pregnant is news to him…
But that’s not the part that scrambled my insides. No, that distinct pleasure belongs to Deacon Rhodes, and I’m embarrassed to admit that even his name is sexy. The man is huge with a beard and eyes that seem to actually sparkle, not to mention the smile on his face that’s full of mischief and promise.
So much promise.
Sorren, Bodhi, and Deacon all talked while I stood there staring at the man while we waited for Jude to come back. Deacon’s gaze would slide to me in a way that even withmy limited experience could be determined as interest and not just as a way to include me in conversation.
Deacon Rhodes is interested in me.
A fact that was made clear when he returned a couple of days later to ask me out.
On a date.
I panicked and told him no and for some reason that didn’t dim the light in his eyes or the brightness of his smile. He told me to take all the time I need but that he’ll be back.
Back where? And for how long?
All my dating experiences have been casual meetups with next-to-no spark and conversation that had me actively trying not to fall asleep. I kissed a few but that’s where it stopped because there’s no sense in going farther if the kissing sucks.
Unfortunately for me, I can tell without him even touching me that Deacon Rhodes does not suck at kissing. He probably doesn’t suck at sucking…
Right. Not going there. But what do I do when he comes back? What do I do if he asks me out again? Am I ready? Will I ever be ready? Do I even know what ready looks like anymore?
Fuck.
4
DEACON
It’s been a couple of weeks since I last saw Tanner, his silence the answer I needed after what happened at Vetted Paws. He didn’t do anything wrong, but it looks like I wasn’t doing anything right either.
Or else he would have come lookin’ for me, right?
I probably should have given up long before now, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he just neededtimeand I’m nothing if not patient.
I wipe the sweat from my brow with the sleeve of my shirt before focusing on the next set of cabinets I need to remove in this rental. Sundown Realty has been doing an overhaul of their properties in Blackstone Falls, and I’ve been workin’ my tail off trying to stay on top of everything.
The laugh that escapes is lacking in humor because I can slap a smile on my face when I need to but it’s only me in this place.
Loving my job is one thing, but it’s something else when I have no one to go home to.
I’m lonely, the ache in my chest making itself known, and instead of fighting it, I let the memories come.
Losing my mom.
Jude joining the military and leaving me to take care of Dad and the bar.
My brother being injured years later, discharged from the military, and sent home to recover. I juggled taking care of him, our father, and the bar.
Then Jude got better and we lost Dad and Jude took over the bar.
I never wanted the bar but I did what I had to do—what they needed me to do—to keep the lights on and the drinks poured. I dragged my brother out into the world when he would rather have stayed inside.
And now he’s having a baby with a woman he can’t get enough of. He’s happy.
In love.
And gone.
